How dare you have LONG natural hair!

Ok so yay me it's the first meaning a new pic to go into my natural hair log! I will be at my eight month mark. Anyways after 8 months you can imagine my hair is getting long...and it is. I'm going to admit my hair is at the awkward stage where my afro causes attention but it is not long enough for many of the hairstyles that are quick and I'm dying to try. But I'm patient I have leave my afro out for less than a week before I put it make in twists so it can grow. Bu my mom lately has been getting...uncomfortable. Through my whole journey she has loved my hair. When I BCed she kept running her hands over my shaved head. The past two months though my mom has been looking at me and ask "So what are you gonna do with your hair? Why don't you braid it?"
Me- "I twist it all the time for length."
Mom-"Yea but if you braid it, it will grow and you don't have to deal with it."

I understand what she is saying but I could have braided my hair too at anytime before my journey so why now bring it up? Now that it has length she finds herself telling me I have to do something to it, and I can't just have it out. Now as a quick BC'er I'm totally against doing the extension braid thing. It's just not my thing I have done that all my life practically. And she even told me I better not ever put a relaxer on it so I'm confused on where her head is at.

Do you find people not becoming uncomfortable with your natural hair until it gets long like my mom?

I guess at first when you big chop, it is a safe style....it hasn't had the chance to grow out and big in all it's kinky glory [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] So she may be saying that because the longer it gets, it may look unkempt to her because it's no longer close to your scalp and subdued. But I do believe that when you really start to grow to great lengths, people tend to change their attitude and say "your hair is so long!" I guess it's the in between that's bothering her.

@ deeply rooted chic I love your new avatar pic!!

moms change their minds all the time. I remember when my mom hated my hair in braid outs because she said it didn't look natural. As I got better at it though she started to embrace and even love the style. Just keep doing you and she'll come around

Lol. I've found that some older women seem to prefer the TWA look. If you notice (NOT on CN but just around) alot of older naturals rock a TWA. I think they'd consider long natural hair unruly. But then, there's alot of people who think natural hair is only ok if it's long.

At the end of the day, you can't please everybody. Just do you. Mom will eventually come around.

Deeply rooted chick love your new avi! I think I had the opposite experience with my mom. With my twa my mom was not comfortable with my hair(lol). Now that its grown out she likes my hair again and loves when its in twists.

I love the new avatar!!!

Your mom maybe uncomfortable with the attention a "big fro" gets....that's why she wants you to "tuck" it away.

When I told my mom, I was "going natural" she told me, "Your hair is gonna be nappy." But guess who is natural now? My mom!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I definitely understand how you feel because I had the same experience yesterday actually!
I was in connecticut and I saw my great aunt (who is like my grandma, and everybody think she's my grandma lol) but I haven't seen her since december 09 when I was home, and she always thought my hair was so nice and that it suited my face (although she would often give me a pick comb and ask me to comb it lol) but at that time I had a TWA that I was maintaining since june of 09, keeping it real short and cutting it often. But after this past winter I started to let my hair grow. When I saw her yesterday I had that cute curly twist out, she told me: either you cut them again, or you let them grow real long to "do" them again, by "do" she meant perm. I asked her if she didn't like it the way it was, she said it's pretty but she liked me better when it was shorter, or when I had my nice pony back in high school. Then I understood it's the in between part she didn't like.
Although it kinda hurt me that she didn't like it (because she always likes what I do) i brushed it off and didn't think about it. I just told myself she'll come around and since she loves me, she'll learn to love my hair too.

Thank you girls for commenting on the avi. I love the summer I always find myself taking a pic near flowers.

But yea I cant wait till I get to that stage where my mom will notice it's the longest my hair has ever been. I'd rock a big fro all the time. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

This makes me think about when I first cut my hair, the look my mother gave me was priceless. After, a while everything would turn into if I made a comment about something, she would say, "You know its because you cut your hair." LOL No matter what it was it was because I cut my hair, that was so funny to me.

Let me preface this post by saying two things:
1) I don't know you (deep_rooted_chick) personally and I am simply going off of what I've observed from your posts
2) I can ruffle some feathers with my bluntness so please try not to take offense

Recently I've noticed your mother's opinions being put in your posts (the coloring one comes to mind). It was weird how your mother's not wanting to color your hair for you nearly stopped your color aspirations altogether.
Your hair is YOUR hair-- no one elses opinions really matter because it's not on their head and they don't have to wear it. You're gonna have disapproval coming from all directions over all types of situations throughout life and the most you can do is forget the negativity and do what's best for you. That goes for even when you're dealing with your mother. Literally-- don't allow your mother to control you. if you wish to braid, dye, twist, washngo, relax, or set your hair on fire it's YOUR choice and it's a choice that should be made independent of your mother's opinion.

Juices-n-Berries wrote:Lol. I've found that some older women seem to prefer the TWA look. If you notice (NOT on CN but just around) alot of older naturals rock a TWA. I think they'd consider long natural hair unruly. But then, there's alot of people who think natural hair is only ok if it's long.

At the end of the day, you can't please everybody. Just do you. . Mom will eventually come around.

My thoughts exactly...just do u!!!!

Electrum wrote:Let me preface this post by saying two things:
1) I don't know you (deep_rooted_chick) personally and I am simply going off of what I've observed from your posts
2) I can ruffle some feathers with my bluntness so please try not to take offense

Recently I've noticed your mother's opinions being put in your posts (the coloring one comes to mind). It was weird how your mother's not wanting to color your hair for you nearly stopped your color aspirations altogether.
Your hair is YOUR hair-- no one elses opinions really matter because it's not on their head and they don't have to wear it. You're gonna have disapproval coming from all directions over all types of situations throughout life and the most you can do is forget the negativity and do what's best for you. That goes for even when you're dealing with your mother. Literally-- don't allow your mother to control you. if you wish to braid, dye, twist, washngo, relax, or set your hair on fire it's YOUR choice and it's a choice that should be made independent of your mother's opinion.

Don't worry I haven't taken offense. I haven't totally given up on dyeing but I'm looking more into henna. I think one of things that makes me way my mother's opinions more is because after dyeing my hair the first time against her wishes it all fell out. After working hard for months the last thing I want to do it repeat my mistake and have my mother look at me like "I told you so...again."