looking for guidance

I am new to this website and new to being natural. I bc'd on March 23, 2010 and have found this website the same day. I have been really encourage by alot of things that i have read on the site. I just recently became a member of the site this week and look forward to continue my journey of the new me. I am looking for someone or people to help me along this journey so i can properly take care of this hair of mine. I have already jacked up the side back of my hair with a flatiron and really am sad about that. But I will get over it lesson learned. Can anyone help me please to at least get started in the right direction?

Hi priceless!
Congrats on your choice to be free...you'll absolutely love it. I myself have been natural for nearly 6 years and I pop in and out here because it's such a lovely place to be ;-)
Personally I do not use heat on my hair. I actually submitted to the whispers last summer and had a friend who owns a salon to press my hair. Well when another girl walked in and said "hEY WHO YOU 'FRYIN' BACK THERE?"
I was sooo done and I did get a gander at the length hiding beneath the kinks it just wasnt me. It simply wasnt who I had become and I missed the personality of my coils and waves...never to be 'fried again', lol.
It also was a learning experience for me in that I found out that the more you straighten your hair the more easily it is straightened. Meaning your hair actually becomes trained in a sense to be straight and when you go back to capture your curly she's kind of jacked up (for lack of better words). But from me I would say keeping it as simple and as antural as possible is the best way to go. Unrefined butter, aloe vera gel (a few other staples), some love and some patience and you'll be fine.
Let me know if I can help with any specs.
Best wishes,
Sharika

thank you for sharing your story and thank you for replying. I see i am not the only one that had this problem. I have so many questions about this new hair. I jus brought hello hydration today. I used it and I have to use it a little more to figure out if it works for me. I see alot of people use aloe vera gel, is there is a particular brand that you use? do you you heat the unrefined butter? and how exactly do you use that? have you used the castor oil on ur scalp? do you know if it eliminate itchy scalp ? or do you have anything that you know works for itchy scalp

well being as I am the 'mother' of Butters-N-Bars I have all of these things readily available but you can also find organic aloe vera gel in places like the whole foods mmarket or local food coop. Good brands are Lilly of the dessert and aloe farms. Unrefined butter needs not be heated UNLESS for some reason it becomes gritty (which in the summer months can easily happen to even the best shea butter) but you use it directly on the scalp or I find it best for sealing my hair and the doing protective styling like twist using it. I do not use castor oil on my hair, nor do I condone usage of it. There are better oils like sweet almond, jojoba oils, grapeseed oils and even olive oil which can e better used on the hair and with a few drops of lavender and tea tree itchy scalp can be elliminated.
Hope this helps,
Sharika

also you can feel free to email me or 'pm' me directly [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I'm not always here, but I NEVER mind helping!

i looked on the website and was wondering what do you recommend to order for someone like me. i know you said the tea tree or lavender oil for itchy scalp, but should i get it all ready in the shea? or should i jus get regualar shea and get the oil and rub it in? i am looking for things that will eliminate the itching and frizz, that will keep it moisturized and will make it grow. if it smells good that will help also lol