Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
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CurlsGalore
lumii
kbelle
Neems
sweetdrk1
Delta87
poeticlyspkng
crvng4mr
labon10
luvinlife225
Lynnieluve
dajewel
BrownSkinDiva
TheRYL1
swoodward
QuietButterfly
kinksncurls
Erica5417
coilylove
Juices-n-Berries
Music8192
tiashaunteé
NikG20
NewYorkUptownChick
28 posters
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Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Hey everyone! My name is Tiffany, and I'm new to the natural world. I got so intrigued by natural hair by lurking on hair forums like this, Hairlista.com, KISS, etc and I would like to transition in the future one day. However, now I'm discouraged. I got a nasty comment by someone I'm really close to who is natural, and she said that my hair is too "nappy" to be natural, that I won't have any curl definition, and that the "prettiest" natural hair is hair that is not in the type 4b/c category. Now, my hair has these corkscrew-ish like textures around my edges and nape, and in the middle of my head, there are large corkscrews, but my hair is still coarse/resistant. I know I keep hearing that you won't know the actual "real" texture of your hair until all the relaxed hair is gone, but it's not just her who's saying this, it's everyone, and I feel so hurt.
Can anyone give me some advice? When I'm ready to transition, I want it to be a fun, loving experience getting to know my hair...I don't want to keep on getting discouraged by people who think they're better all because their texture is looser!!
Can anyone give me some advice? When I'm ready to transition, I want it to be a fun, loving experience getting to know my hair...I don't want to keep on getting discouraged by people who think they're better all because their texture is looser!!
NewYorkUptownChick- Posts : 3
Join date : 2010-05-03
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
I think a lot of women have heard their hair is too nappy to be natural. A lot of natural women deal with hair predudice and ignorance. You really have to be comfortable in your own skin and look past all of the ignorant comments. Natural hair communities are a great place to share knowledge, gain knowledge, and accept that all natural hair is beautiful. Whether it be 2b or 4c.
Unfortunately the 4 hair type in general is really looked down on. It's interesting because I find the 4a/b/c hair type is the most beautiful (maybe I'm biased?) and definitely the most versatile.
You will get ignorant comments but these comments usually come from people who seem to be brain washed as to what beautiful hair is. This is because of the media and I think also how they were raised and what they were told about natural hair when they were younger. Something like that really sticks in your head. Some people try to pass down the self hate to you, YOU have to choose to look past the self hate and love you for who you are and what God gave you.
Ok I think I'm rambling. I would suggest starting a thread in "The Curl Street Journal" section. The women are very kind and helpful.
Good luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Unfortunately the 4 hair type in general is really looked down on. It's interesting because I find the 4a/b/c hair type is the most beautiful (maybe I'm biased?) and definitely the most versatile.
You will get ignorant comments but these comments usually come from people who seem to be brain washed as to what beautiful hair is. This is because of the media and I think also how they were raised and what they were told about natural hair when they were younger. Something like that really sticks in your head. Some people try to pass down the self hate to you, YOU have to choose to look past the self hate and love you for who you are and what God gave you.
Ok I think I'm rambling. I would suggest starting a thread in "The Curl Street Journal" section. The women are very kind and helpful.
Good luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
I have all the 4's in my head and I love my hair! It's not about what "they" think it's about you because at the end of the day you are the one that gets the pleasure of enjoying your hair. No one's hair is "too nappy" and that is the most ignorant hair comment that anyone can make. Just plain hateful and stupid - and you can tell them I said it, it's true.
Take a look at these lists of lovely 4's:
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204%20Hair
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=419684
Hair typing is just another device used to keep us divided.
Take a look at these lists of lovely 4's:
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204%20Hair
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=419684
Hair typing is just another device used to keep us divided.
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Thank you so much, both of you! That really helped, I really appreciate it
NewYorkUptownChick- Posts : 3
Join date : 2010-05-03
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
NewYorkUptownChick wrote:Thank you so much, both of you! That really helped, I really appreciate it
Please don't let folks discourage you. Anytime you need any encouragement just remind yourself how beautiful Type 4 hair is by looking at the pics in those links, FOTKI, albums, and all the type 4 vloggers and bloggers
Good luck on your journey!
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
You can't please everyone LOL. Some people really may not like it but..
to ___ with them lol
As the other ladies have mentioned, you just have to be comfortable in your own skin. I just bc'd about 2 weeks ago, and I am completely in LOVE with my hair. And I have 4a texture type hair. Maybe even 4c.. lol not really sure..
And it's funny b/c my mom keeps suggesting i texturize but this is the first time in my life that I've seen my hair in its natural state. And it makes me feel self-conscious when it comes from my mother.
Even my grandma had something say about it and I just laughed..
lol if someone else said something about my hair, I don't think i would be as offended than with someone I know.
This is the hair that God has given me. It's not by chance for fate, it is what it is. And yes I could change it anyway I want too but at the end of the day, my hair is MY HAIR.
Everyone else can dye and fry their hair, but when it comes to us, it's always an "issue" . And for some odd reason the kinkier and tightly curled hair is segreated from the looser patterns. And i don't know why.
I think its a subconscious thing. We are use to seeing people with straight hair or even hair that is loosely curled in the media and not use to seeing the kinkier hair types.
Over all, confidence and accepting yourself is key.
However, I'm seeing more and more naturals everyday, from 3c-4c and celebs going natural too which really helps us all to accept our selfs for who we are.
Good Luck and don't be discouraged. Being creamy crack free is the best the best thing for me and I wish i would have done it sooner as cliche as it sounds.
to ___ with them lol
As the other ladies have mentioned, you just have to be comfortable in your own skin. I just bc'd about 2 weeks ago, and I am completely in LOVE with my hair. And I have 4a texture type hair. Maybe even 4c.. lol not really sure..
And it's funny b/c my mom keeps suggesting i texturize but this is the first time in my life that I've seen my hair in its natural state. And it makes me feel self-conscious when it comes from my mother.
Even my grandma had something say about it and I just laughed..
lol if someone else said something about my hair, I don't think i would be as offended than with someone I know.
This is the hair that God has given me. It's not by chance for fate, it is what it is. And yes I could change it anyway I want too but at the end of the day, my hair is MY HAIR.
Everyone else can dye and fry their hair, but when it comes to us, it's always an "issue" . And for some odd reason the kinkier and tightly curled hair is segreated from the looser patterns. And i don't know why.
I think its a subconscious thing. We are use to seeing people with straight hair or even hair that is loosely curled in the media and not use to seeing the kinkier hair types.
Over all, confidence and accepting yourself is key.
However, I'm seeing more and more naturals everyday, from 3c-4c and celebs going natural too which really helps us all to accept our selfs for who we are.
Good Luck and don't be discouraged. Being creamy crack free is the best the best thing for me and I wish i would have done it sooner as cliche as it sounds.
Music8192- Posts : 86
Join date : 2009-12-13
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
I think 4b/c hair can be awesome. But it truly is a mental thing.
Here's one of my reassurances that it's ok. Check out Nikia Phoenix. She's a model.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Isn't she absolutely gorgeous?
Here's one of my reassurances that it's ok. Check out Nikia Phoenix. She's a model.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Isn't she absolutely gorgeous?
Juices-n-Berries- Posts : 2280
Join date : 2009-12-12
Age : 38
Location : Houston, TX
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Hi Tiffany!
Don't be discouraged by what others say. I didn't know how my transition was going to be. I started out getting it pressed and realized I wasn't really getting to know my hair. So, I decided to wear natural styles and that was the best decision. My hairdresser of 22 years told me I didn't have the right kind of hair to be natural...my hair was too coarse, too nappy, and it wouldn't curl. Nonsense! She even said I would look like a jigiboo (sp?) whatever that is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The process actually increased my love and acceptance of my hair. Your hair is beautiful regardless of what type it is! I'm more of a lurker instead of a poster but I would look at this website and others for tips on styles and maintenance and it kept me motivated and encouraged. Good Luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Don't be discouraged by what others say. I didn't know how my transition was going to be. I started out getting it pressed and realized I wasn't really getting to know my hair. So, I decided to wear natural styles and that was the best decision. My hairdresser of 22 years told me I didn't have the right kind of hair to be natural...my hair was too coarse, too nappy, and it wouldn't curl. Nonsense! She even said I would look like a jigiboo (sp?) whatever that is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The process actually increased my love and acceptance of my hair. Your hair is beautiful regardless of what type it is! I'm more of a lurker instead of a poster but I would look at this website and others for tips on styles and maintenance and it kept me motivated and encouraged. Good Luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
coilylove- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-01-28
Age : 42
Location : Tennessee
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
yeah, and people tell me I'm too dark...too skinny...too short
If we listened to the world...
If we listened to the world...
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Jiggaboo?!?!?!?....that's taking it way back to Spike Lee's 1988 School Daze. Your hair needs to be more concerned about getting herself up to date.
Self-hate really annoys me and that's what I believe is the cause for people talking so bad and hating so much that there are people that love the way that they were born.
Self-hate really annoys me and that's what I believe is the cause for people talking so bad and hating so much that there are people that love the way that they were born.
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Hi I'm in the 4 category too, and my hair is very thick. Before I went natural I was concerned about what other people would think too. I heard some of those same comments from my best friend. I don't think she was trying to be hurtful, she just didn't know any better.
But you've got to do what's best for you and what will make you happy. Being natural is a challenge especially in the beginning and during the transitioning, so you have to prepare yourself mentally for that. But otherwise, like everyone else said, don't listen to what other people say! 4b hair is beautiful, embrace it!
But you've got to do what's best for you and what will make you happy. Being natural is a challenge especially in the beginning and during the transitioning, so you have to prepare yourself mentally for that. But otherwise, like everyone else said, don't listen to what other people say! 4b hair is beautiful, embrace it!
kinksncurls- Posts : 370
Join date : 2010-01-26
Location : Fullerton, CA
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Hi Tiffany!!
I'm a type 4 girl and I agree with what the other ladies said, you do have to be comfortable with yourself and with your hair. Like Juices said it is also a mental thing too. I remember back when the hair stylist suggested to my Mom that she might want to think about perming my hair to make it easier to "handle", but said that my sister (whose hair has a looser curl pattern, not as coarse) didn't "need" a perm.
So just stay encouraged and shake off all that negativity. You really have to develop a thick skin and not care what other people have to say. I still have to keep myself in check, looking at other girls hair, and wishing mine was like that. Its a process, but you've got a whole lot of ladies here that will help you. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Your hair is beautiful and so are you!!
I'm a type 4 girl and I agree with what the other ladies said, you do have to be comfortable with yourself and with your hair. Like Juices said it is also a mental thing too. I remember back when the hair stylist suggested to my Mom that she might want to think about perming my hair to make it easier to "handle", but said that my sister (whose hair has a looser curl pattern, not as coarse) didn't "need" a perm.
So just stay encouraged and shake off all that negativity. You really have to develop a thick skin and not care what other people have to say. I still have to keep myself in check, looking at other girls hair, and wishing mine was like that. Its a process, but you've got a whole lot of ladies here that will help you. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Your hair is beautiful and so are you!!
QuietButterfly- Posts : 354
Join date : 2009-12-11
Age : 41
Location : Detroit, MI
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Tiffany, I hate and am glad to say this but the close person who told you that your type of hair isn't the prettiest was mistaken. The world is full of beautiful people and God made us in all shapes, sizes and styles. I bet your hair IS pretty, WILL curl (if you want it too) and nappy is just of description of tiny, springy, spiral curls. So if your hair is too nappy, that just means you have a head full of curls.
Let me share how I look at it: say I have two cats - one has straightish ginger fur that lays down and the other has thick fuzzy brown fur that sticks out. Am I supposed to tell the brown one that her fur isn't the prettiest because it's not straight?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
of course not. Both are amazingly beautiful just because they are. People are no different. And we should never let bad history dictate to us what is our right of beauty.
(The brown one is the queen of the house. She rules all members of the household. She is the lightest in weight, the oldest, the smartest and the prettiest and you can't tell her otherwise. She also has a seriously kinky undercoat!)
Let me share how I look at it: say I have two cats - one has straightish ginger fur that lays down and the other has thick fuzzy brown fur that sticks out. Am I supposed to tell the brown one that her fur isn't the prettiest because it's not straight?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
of course not. Both are amazingly beautiful just because they are. People are no different. And we should never let bad history dictate to us what is our right of beauty.
(The brown one is the queen of the house. She rules all members of the household. She is the lightest in weight, the oldest, the smartest and the prettiest and you can't tell her otherwise. She also has a seriously kinky undercoat!)
swoodward- Posts : 1100
Join date : 2010-01-15
Age : 62
Location : Philly
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
swoodward wrote:Tiffany, I hate and am glad to say this but the close person who told you that your type of hair isn't the prettiest was mistaken. The world is full of beautiful people and God made us in all shapes, sizes and styles. I bet your hair IS pretty, WILL curl (if you want it too) and nappy is just of description of tiny, springy, spiral curls. So if your hair is too nappy, that just means you have a head full of curls.
Let me share how I look at it: say I have two cats - one has straightish ginger fur that lays down and the other has thick fuzzy brown fur that sticks out. Am I supposed to tell the brown one that her fur isn't the prettiest because it's not straight?
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
of course not. Both are amazingly beautiful just because they are. People are no different. And we should never let bad history dictate to us what is our right of beauty.
(The brown one is the queen of the house. She rules all members of the household. She is the lightest in weight, the oldest, the smartest and the prettiest and you can't tell her otherwise. She also has a seriously kinky undercoat!)
As a fellow cat owner, I LOVE the feline example. And such beautiful kitties you have!
Juices-n-Berries- Posts : 2280
Join date : 2009-12-12
Age : 38
Location : Houston, TX
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
NewYorkUptownChick...though it can be hurtful, I find the folks who make comments like that (especially those we consider friends) are usually jealous of or dislike the fact you are willing to be you. These comments are meant to keep you in the same box/place right along with them.
So...keep doing what you are doing...and use the comments to motivate you forward! Trust...one day you will laugh in the faces of those who try to put you down!!!
So...keep doing what you are doing...and use the comments to motivate you forward! Trust...one day you will laugh in the faces of those who try to put you down!!!
TheRYL1- Posts : 1508
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 54
Location : Inglewood, CA
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Hey Tiffany (My name is Tiffany too by the way
Girl, I totally understand the discouragement and the way youre feeling right now. As some of the other curlies said, you cant really allow those harsh words to detur you from what you really want to do. While I transitioned it taught me alot about how folks viewed me when i was relaxed and how their views started changing all because I chose to not get relaxers anymore. It still to this day amazes me on how some of THE most harsh comments come from other african americans moreso than any other race (or that could be just what ive experienced)....There are several natural communities out there that will definitely help you through any struggles you have, and forums such as this and the WONDERFUL world of youtube, that help you embrace the transition, big chop, TWA, and more phases of being au naturale....
HTH
Girl, I totally understand the discouragement and the way youre feeling right now. As some of the other curlies said, you cant really allow those harsh words to detur you from what you really want to do. While I transitioned it taught me alot about how folks viewed me when i was relaxed and how their views started changing all because I chose to not get relaxers anymore. It still to this day amazes me on how some of THE most harsh comments come from other african americans moreso than any other race (or that could be just what ive experienced)....There are several natural communities out there that will definitely help you through any struggles you have, and forums such as this and the WONDERFUL world of youtube, that help you embrace the transition, big chop, TWA, and more phases of being au naturale....
HTH
BrownSkinDiva- Posts : 798
Join date : 2009-12-03
Age : 42
Location : Raleigh/Durham, NC
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!
maybe am biased, but like beadsbraidsandbeyond, 4 type hair is d bess d bess d bess!!! is sooo beautiful in all of it's glory!!! it shows you that God made no mistake making us this way!
don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!
maybe am biased, but like beadsbraidsandbeyond, 4 type hair is d bess d bess d bess!!! is sooo beautiful in all of it's glory!!! it shows you that God made no mistake making us this way!
don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!
Last edited by dajewel on 4th May 2010, 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total
dajewel- Posts : 1760
Join date : 2009-10-23
Age : 42
Location : orlando, florida
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
dajewel wrote:hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!
don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!
Hey Tiffany Girl!!!
thats good advice and im REAL sure she will be the one wanting to go natural soon too
BrownSkinDiva- Posts : 798
Join date : 2009-12-03
Age : 42
Location : Raleigh/Durham, NC
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
BrownSkinDiva wrote:dajewel wrote:hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!
don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!
Hey Tiffany Girl!!!
thats good advice and im REAL sure she will be the one wanting to go natural soon too
hey, Tiff!!
is so true!!!!
dajewel- Posts : 1760
Join date : 2009-10-23
Age : 42
Location : orlando, florida
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
I am in the "4" family too and I wouldnt want it to be any other way. You can check out my fotki (in my signature) if you want to take a closer look.
As NikG and Dajewel said, "4" is the best!!! You can achieve so many different styles!!!
If you stick around here (on this forum), you will get all the love and support that you may not be able to get from family and friends.
Good luck on your journey!!
As NikG and Dajewel said, "4" is the best!!! You can achieve so many different styles!!!
If you stick around here (on this forum), you will get all the love and support that you may not be able to get from family and friends.
Good luck on your journey!!
Lynnieluve- Posts : 8638
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 46
Location : Mississippi
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
^^^ great advice Lynnie!!
I love being in the 4 family
*in my BEST DJ Khaled voice*
We the BESSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
lol...
I love being in the 4 family
*in my BEST DJ Khaled voice*
We the BESSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
lol...
BrownSkinDiva- Posts : 798
Join date : 2009-12-03
Age : 42
Location : Raleigh/Durham, NC
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
i agree with Lynnie!!!!!
large up yourselves, 4 family!!!!! 4 family tuh di world!!!!!!!!!!! lol
large up yourselves, 4 family!!!!! 4 family tuh di world!!!!!!!!!!! lol
dajewel- Posts : 1760
Join date : 2009-10-23
Age : 42
Location : orlando, florida
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
^^ okay namesake we are both too much, lol!!! we must be related...u from florida??
BrownSkinDiva- Posts : 798
Join date : 2009-12-03
Age : 42
Location : Raleigh/Durham, NC
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Uptown Chick,
I'm mostly a 4 chick (some 3, but really that hair only irritates me LOL) and I absolutely LOVE my hair. You're just going to have to show your friend how beautiful your hair truly is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] You better rock that head of tight coils with confidence!
I'm mostly a 4 chick (some 3, but really that hair only irritates me LOL) and I absolutely LOVE my hair. You're just going to have to show your friend how beautiful your hair truly is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] You better rock that head of tight coils with confidence!
luvinlife225- Posts : 47
Join date : 2010-03-27
Age : 43
Re: Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?
Say to yourself, "My Black is Beautiful". Continue saying it until you believe. And believe that it means that you are truely beautiful from head to toe, no matter the hair type.
You have to be comfortable with yourself, in all that you do. Don't depend on others to encourage you to do something that's on your heart/mind. If I looked to others, I would be in a world of mess right now.
Surround yourself with positive people!!
You have to be comfortable with yourself, in all that you do. Don't depend on others to encourage you to do something that's on your heart/mind. If I looked to others, I would be in a world of mess right now.
Surround yourself with positive people!!
labon10- Posts : 153
Join date : 2009-11-03
Location : MI
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