IntelligentBeauty;-) PICS OF DESTINY LOVING WATER;-)

MahoganyCurls wrote:Hey!
I think your hair turned out good! I can see what you were talking about, when you said the top of your hair isnt as defined.

Okay,
This is what I think you should do:(This is for you-i made a few changes..)

Step in the shower (make sure you have time)

Stand under the shower like you are under a water fall, just let the water pressure hit your hair. Do not distort your hair, let the natural curls hang

Your hair should be VERY wet now

Take a good amount of conditoner- dont be stingy with it, it will not hurt your hair...you can use a cheapie conditoner if you do not want to go through your good stuff-it is up to you. ( A little more than a quarter size). Make sure that hair is drenched! Lol!

Rub your palms together. Apply to the canopy, the part most exposed...starting at the edges all the way to the ends in a squishing motion. Do not rake. Just squish through.

Now, get the same amount and apply it to the nape area (all in the back) reaching your ends. Again, in a squishing motion.

Now, do the same thing to the left and right side.

Shower, etc...you want the product to sit.

Touch your hair, it should feel really slick, and slimy like, kinda like seaweed.

If it feels this way you are good, if not you need more product. The more you do this, the less product you will use. I am so serious, I dont even use that much product anymore.

Okay, if it feels like seaweed, gently start detangling..starting at the nape begining at the ends and working your way up to the roots. Do not rush it, wet hair is fragile. Keep raking the product through, gently rake the product all over your hair. You will rake the canopy last.

Okay, once you feel like the product is in pretty well, I want you to take a little bit more conditioner and add it to your canopy...just a little.

******NOW****** take your hands and smooth your hair like your are making a low pony tail, this will smooth the curls. Your hair should feel very squishy...do it twice.**********

Turn the shower on. Make sure the water is cool. Step under the shower and let it spray your hair for 3-5 seconds. I like to count out loud...i know weird...lol!

Now, if you have hang your hair should feel a little weighed down...

I want you to take about a nickle size amount of gel rub it in your palms.

start scrunching- left side, back, right side, back- you should feel the water coming out of your hair- remember do not ball your fists while scrunching, just keep your palms out.

take another small amount of gel- about a dime size rub your palms together. Flip your hair over and start scrunching the canopy. Gently up and down, up and down...when you feel it is scrunched pretty well (I do not scrunch it too long, just enough to get the curls forming). Stand up...(you can rinse your body if it has product over it..lol) and step out of the shower.

You can style your part, edges, etc, the way you want to style it.

Take a paper towel when you feel that you are satified with the position of your hair and in the same scrunching motion, blot your hair, so it can remove the excess water and conditoner..do it gently. The only thing you will omit is flipping your hair over to blot it dry..skip the canopy, i find it dries faster.

The paper towels will help with drying time and absorb the water and product faster. Do not shake. Look at your hair, get dressed and allow to dry.

NOTE: Your hair may dry a little stiff, this is okay, the gel formed a crystalized cast over your curls giving them hold. When it is 100% dry you can scrunch out the crunch (SOTC) the same way you did it earlier to remove the cast. I wouldnt do it a lot. You can even add a little oil to your hands before you do it, to give it a little shine.

I really hope it works! Remember you have to rake the product through and make sure it is in your hair well for it to work. The more you do it, the easier it will get! I hope this helps!

Sidenote: As for your husband, men can be so rude sometimes. I know they may not mean harm, but sometimes deep down it hurt us and make us feel like we are not attractive to them. Especially when going natural. Believe it or not, my husband did me the same way. He helped me cut my hair when I BC'd but after, while my hair started to grow out and it looked a little weird he starting saying crazy ish!

Good Example: Last february (right after I BC'd) I had a breast reduction (previously a 32DD). When I came back home from my 7 day hospital stay, my breast were very tight and knotty...they didnt drop yet, so I appeared to be very "flat". My husband was sitting ont he couch and told me that I looked like a boy.

"He said, damn Jess, you cut all your hair, and now your cut your breast!" I am not gonna lie that pissed me off and it hurt my feelings. Men can be so insensitve. I dont think they realize it either. But believe me, I let him have it. He later apologized, but he was wrong.

Some black men have a hard time adjusting to natural hair. Another incident with my husband. He told me after we were watching Chris Rock's Good Hair Movie That our hair looks better straight and flowy. That Nig, excuse my language (getting kinda heated) had the audacity to fix his mouth and say that black ppl shouldnt go natural. I cursed his behind out too! That was last year, still rocking a TWA, I was crying and cursing! Lol! I told him that I was gonna put his but on blast on YouTube. I was really gonna make that video. I couldnt believe my ears, I am like, hold on? You helped me, and told me you were fine, now that is here, you have a problem with it. GTFOH!

He was like, it wasnt nothing wrong with your hair relaxed, now you are all natural and Afro centric and stuff, (I dont have anyting against afro centric ppl, but I am far from Afro centric...).

He then went on to say that he likes hair that reminds him of an AKA... (you know how they swing their hair) he said i didnt look like an AKA...(he is a Kappa)..that blew my mind, I wanted to slap the color off of him! LOL!!!! I was like are you really serious?!?!?! You are wildin!

I told him that there are plenty of men that would love me and my natural hair! That shut him up! Again, he apologized and said how he have to adjust and he doesnt hate my hair, it is just a big adjustment to him.

I reassured him that it is just hair and it will grow and this is how we are supposed to look. I still did my thing, but he was going off!

After that BIG INCIDENT he was fine, he started coming around even telling me how he loved my hair...BUT...

He lost it again when I decided to rollerset my hair. When I decided to ditch the straight hair bc i couldnt take it anymore, he tripped. I guess he assumed I was gonna keep it straight forever. He was like, Jess the curly hair isnt a good look for you! No he didn't!!!!! I went off on him! I was like excuse me?!?!?!?

Him: why cant you just keep your hair straight?
Me: BC I DONT effin want too!
Him: When you were relaxed I didnt have to go through this
Me: Go through what?
Him: The products, the hair boards, you doing your hair everyday.
Me: Whatever, I am not relaxing my hair. When hell freezes over I might.
Him: So you are gonna keep your hair curly all the time now?
Me: Yep!
Him: why can't i get variety, i had to shave your head, and watch it be all short and stuff...(lol)
Me: Well, that is what happens when you bc...my hair doesnt grow overnight..
Him: Well can I see it straight sometimes?
Me: yes, you can..1x per year
Him: I am tired of talking about your hair
Me: I think my curly hair is a good look
HIm: No its not, it looks like a jhericurl
Me: I cant remember what I said at that point I know I just lost it then...lol!!!!!

At the end we made up and he said that he really likes my hair, he just miss the straight hair sometimes, I of course forgave him, bc I have to look at it from his perspective: I met him with long relaxed hair...during our marriage-kept it the same way, then i decided to go natural, didnt want to transition and went brittney spears on him..he has seen a lot. But I also, made it clear that at the end of the day it is MY HAIR and I will do what I want to do with it. And if he is that superficial he is with the wrong person. Of course, he doesnt want to leave me..we love each other too much.

But men are a trip. Sometimes they just dont get it. Ever since we had that last convo, we have been good. He did say this: Jess, can I make a suggestion? I love your natural hair, I really do, but can you try to practice your wash n gos (yes he knows natural hair lingo ) so they dont look so jhericurlish, it doesnt look bad, but i think you are using too much product or something...I took what he said without getting upset.

Thanks to him, I started practicing my WnGs and reread Curly Girl and decided to follow the Accordion technique. Now, I love my wash n gos and appearently he does too! He cant keep his hands out of my hair.

But that is not the point. I just want to let you know, that men will say things that they do not mean to say, or they will try to say stuff about your natural bc they miss the relaxer in hopes of you going back to it...that is just the way they are from my observation. It is not that they do not love you or think you are pretty, they just want their way, and may have a hard time to adjust. Give him time, when he say those things, just laugh it off, even if it does hurt a little, (BC in a few years he will be eating those words! Trust me!)..

your hair is beautiful and so are you!

Sorry so long!

Love,
Jess

NubieNatty wrote:BRAVO MISS JESS---i mean MC, lol. **standing ovation** let me just say the time is now 4:45am in the DMV and im tryin to survive my last hour before i leave work...reading that has JUST put an extra pep in my step to make sure i dont drive off the road on the way home!

i was so into IB's tip u catered for her and literally hit the print button becuz now i HAVE to try this method thats all the rave. im actually glad-thank you IB-for posting your results of when it was dry becuz i can definitely see that bein my end result. so glad we can learn each others mistakes thru trial and error...with that bein said i can visually remember ur instructions becuz i could vividly picture the whole "scrunching" thing. so glad u clarified it cuz i was thinkin scrunchin as in ballin my fist too! i know my co-workers are lookin at me crazy becuz i was going through every step with an imaginary head on my shoulders. (and i had to bust out laughin just at the mere thought of ur countryness shouting out WON-TOO-THRUA-EEE, 4RAH-5AH )

ok so now on to ur angela davis shoutin while rockin a "womens rights" tshirt...again, im totally hearing ur country slang voice the WHOLE TIME which made it even funnier to me; but i totally agree. this guy at my job who dmn near wanted me to have his baby had a nerve to laugh in my face when i came in wit my amber rose and said you need to go back to gettin a perm cuz that is NOT you. my son's father "why do u wanna walk around lookin like a dude" and "u need to do somethin wit that short shyt and grow it out" mind you ne're one of em EVER paid for my salon visit and they just totally dont understand our vision. This is totally new to me too and i tell anyone who has a problem with it, "i dont blame you, i blame the system" and shake my head and walk away. whether my hair is long, short or whatever; my face dont change and dmn it, if they got such a strong opinion about it how bout they just contribute to my pj fund and watch how silent they get.

its crazy how defensive i get and i normally dont let foolishness and negative comments get to me but when they talk plain ignorant THEN i have a problem. How would they like it if we told them we dont like how they get their haircuts...matter fact next time im gonna tell my co-worker "well i dont like ur shiney bald head and i think you need to grow a high top fade" and then im gonna tell my son's father "hey..how bout u stop gettin the low cut caesar wit the deep waves and grow back that RAT TAIL im sure u rocked when u were 8 yrs old."

we just gotta be patient wit them becuz ur right, the same folks who give u the side eye will be envyin our hair later. that goes for my lil sisters too...the main ones walkin around wit split ends and edges lookin like pigeons been feastin on it got a nerve to talk about MY SHYT...aw heeelll naw, they can get it too **smackin face w/glove to challenge em to a duel** see mc now u done got me started and rowled up before my drive home and im LOVIN it..thanx!! i cant apologize for my long story cuz i knw i like to write so i type alot (did that make sense? im tired, lol)

(disclaimer: my above reference to country folks is in no means to offend anyone, i love my southerners and anytime i visit NC i love to mock them and their twang. plus folks up north say that i sound country too so i figure the accent just gets deeper the further down you go but i love "awl yall" )

Kisses and Hugs!!!!

MahoganyCurls wrote:

NubieNatty wrote:BRAVO MISS JESS---i mean MC, lol. **standing ovation** let me just say the time is now 4:45am in the DMV and im tryin to survive my last hour before i leave work...reading that has JUST put an extra pep in my step to make sure i dont drive off the road on the way home!

i was so into IB's tip u catered for her and literally hit the print button becuz now i HAVE to try this method thats all the rave. im actually glad-thank you IB-for posting your results of when it was dry becuz i can definitely see that bein my end result. so glad we can learn each others mistakes thru trial and error...with that bein said i can visually remember ur instructions becuz i could vividly picture the whole "scrunching" thing. so glad u clarified it cuz i was thinkin scrunchin as in ballin my fist too! i know my co-workers are lookin at me crazy becuz i was going through every step with an imaginary head on my shoulders. (and i had to bust out laughin just at the mere thought of ur countryness shouting out WON-TOO-THRUA-EEE, 4RAH-5AH )

ok so now on to ur angela davis shoutin while rockin a "womens rights" tshirt...again, im totally hearing ur country slang voice the WHOLE TIME which made it even funnier to me; but i totally agree. this guy at my job who dmn near wanted me to have his baby had a nerve to laugh in my face when i came in wit my amber rose and said you need to go back to gettin a perm cuz that is NOT you. my son's father "why do u wanna walk around lookin like a dude" and "u need to do somethin wit that short shyt and grow it out" mind you ne're one of em EVER paid for my salon visit and they just totally dont understand our vision. This is totally new to me too and i tell anyone who has a problem with it, "i dont blame you, i blame the system" and shake my head and walk away. whether my hair is long, short or whatever; my face dont change and dmn it, if they got such a strong opinion about it how bout they just contribute to my pj fund and watch how silent they get.

its crazy how defensive i get and i normally dont let foolishness and negative comments get to me but when they talk plain ignorant THEN i have a problem. How would they like it if we told them we dont like how they get their haircuts...matter fact next time im gonna tell my co-worker "well i dont like ur shiney bald head and i think you need to grow a high top fade" and then im gonna tell my son's father "hey..how bout u stop gettin the low cut caesar wit the deep waves and grow back that RAT TAIL im sure u rocked when u were 8 yrs old."

we just gotta be patient wit them becuz ur right, the same folks who give u the side eye will be envyin our hair later. that goes for my lil sisters too...the main ones walkin around wit split ends and edges lookin like pigeons been feastin on it got a nerve to talk about MY SHYT...aw heeelll naw, they can get it too **smackin face w/glove to challenge em to a duel** see mc now u done got me started and rowled up before my drive home and im LOVIN it..thanx!! i cant apologize for my long story cuz i knw i like to write so i type alot (did that make sense? im tired, lol)

(disclaimer: my above reference to country folks is in no means to offend anyone, i love my southerners and anytime i visit NC i love to mock them and their twang. plus folks up north say that i sound country too so i figure the accent just gets deeper the further down you go but i love "awl yall" )

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUaHWAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Girl you are too funny! Ppl are a trip! I get the exact same thing! I am like whatever bc you will be all up in my face when it gets longer! Whatever!

Girl Nawl! You didnt offend me one bit. Trust me, I have to turn my "true accent off for youtube" I said something one day in one of my vids and Lethalpleazure caught it! She was like, do i hear a southern bell?

No, I had to let IB know, that she isnt the only one. It is like an emotional rollercoster with these men and women. I am just counting down the weeks, bc I am going to be going off on a lot of ppl back home in GA. My family havent seen my natural hair in person..so this is going to interesting! OMG! YOU are soooooooooooooooooo FUNNY, I am gonna have to get yall numbers when i get back to the states so we all can talk on the phone! Yall are like m sisters!!!!

Kisses and Hugs!!!!

MahoganyCurls wrote:Hey IB-

See! I told you! They are a trip! He will adjust to your hair. He doesnt have a choice. Mark my words, he will grow to love it. I just let my husband have his moments. When he try to get all up on me, (lately) and playing in my hair, I say "oh you want me now, hunh?" He is speechless everytime! But we laugh it off! It is crazy, bc my mother in law stopped relaxing her hair in August, and she told my husband that she is going natural too, along with her sisters and my husband was like "Mommy, you will see how it is, you will like it" I was so proud of him..he is coming along, but he will relapse (or so I think). Lol!

Now your hair! I cannot wait to see the new pictures, if you do not want to scrunch the back you do not have to do it. Adjust it to your hair needs, that is beauty of having natural hair, there is more than one way to skin a cat!

When I say squish I mean like rubbing the conditoner in your hair going with the hair (in a downward motion, always apply your product this way, it prevents knots and tangling) and squeezing it in, imagine sqeezing a stress ball. This usually works on hair that hangs a little, if your doesnt just pat in in really good, you want to get the product in your hair nicely. (Basically what you said, smushing it in, gently) You should feel the conditoner ooze a little, but dont smush all of it out, but you should get that feeling..like when we used to play with play-doh...HTH!

Kisses and hugs back!

Intelligentbeauty wrote:

MahoganyCurls wrote:Hey IB-

See! I told you! They are a trip! He will adjust to your hair. He doesnt have a choice. Mark my words, he will grow to love it. I just let my husband have his moments. When he try to get all up on me, (lately) and playing in my hair, I say "oh you want me now, hunh?" He is speechless everytime! But we laugh it off! It is crazy, bc my mother in law stopped relaxing her hair in August, and she told my husband that she is going natural too, along with her sisters and my husband was like "Mommy, you will see how it is, you will like it" I was so proud of him..he is coming along, but he will relapse (or so I think). Lol!

Now your hair! I cannot wait to see the new pictures, if you do not want to scrunch the back you do not have to do it. Adjust it to your hair needs, that is beauty of having natural hair, there is more than one way to skin a cat!

When I say squish I mean like rubbing the conditoner in your hair going with the hair (in a downward motion, always apply your product this way, it prevents knots and tangling) and squeezing it in, imagine sqeezing a stress ball. This usually works on hair that hangs a little, if your doesnt just pat in in really good, you want to get the product in your hair nicely. (Basically what you said, smushing it in, gently) You should feel the conditoner ooze a little, but dont smush all of it out, but you should get that feeling..like when we used to play with play-doh...HTH!

Kisses and hugs back!

Oh yes MC, my husband is funny with that too. I have a few women that we know that want to go natural and would question me or talk to him in passing. And he is like, "It's the best thing for your hair. My wife transitioned successfully for 1 year. You will love it." I am like WHHHHAAAAATTTTT. STOP PLAYING

MY HAIR: You just helped me out again. Because I was having a hard time understanding how to apply products to my hair. All those little curls, I don't want to tangle them up. I was getting those fairy knots at the ends of my little babies . You've seen my hair. The curls are so small in the back. Thanks you much. GREAT, GREAT GREAT!!!!

BTW, I don't know if I told you but I love the new avatar!!

BlondeByDesire wrote:Let me start off by saying I love the Ladies on this Forum. I'm sitting on the train right now reading this. Great stuff.

IB - it will get better with time - be patient. I'm praying for your hubby's mentality to change and accept what GOD has given you. You are a Beautiful Women. At the end of the day its Your hair.

MC - Wow that was a great story - I'm sitting here laughing at the convo you ur hubby had and I too as I was reading can here your southern voice - which I love. I wish you could have given me some of those letters you cut off (lol). You gave IB great advice. It also could be the conditioner she's using. Also IB I believe you need to follow the technique as given to you and not try to tweak or take out any steps. It does work.

Nubie - OMG you are too funny - I love your humor and how you put it into words. People I'm sure think I'm crazy sitting on this train laughing at what you wrote. You brightened up my morning.

Peace and Blessings

BlondeByDesire wrote:Let me start off by saying I love the Ladies on this Forum. I'm sitting on the train right now reading this. Great stuff.

IB - it will get better with time - be patient. I'm praying for your hubby's mentality to change and accept what GOD has given you. You are a Beautiful Women. At the end of the day its Your hair.

MC - Wow that was a great story - I'm sitting here laughing at the convo you ur hubby had and I too as I was reading can here your southern voice - which I love. I wish you could have given me some of those letters you cut off (lol). You gave IB great advice. It also could be the conditioner she's using. Also IB I believe you need to follow the technique as given to you and not try to tweak or take out any steps. It does work.

Nubie - OMG you are too funny - I love your humor and how you put it into words. People I'm sure think I'm crazy sitting on this train laughing at what you wrote. You brightened up my morning.

Peace and Blessings

MahoganyCurls wrote:

BlondeByDesire wrote:Let me start off by saying I love the Ladies on this Forum. I'm sitting on the train right now reading this. Great stuff.

IB - it will get better with time - be patient. I'm praying for your hubby's mentality to change and accept what GOD has given you. You are a Beautiful Women. At the end of the day its Your hair.

MC - Wow that was a great story - I'm sitting here laughing at the convo you ur hubby had and I too as I was reading can here your southern voice - which I love. I wish you could have given me some of those letters you cut off (lol). You gave IB great advice. It also could be the conditioner she's using. Also IB I believe you need to follow the technique as given to you and not try to tweak or take out any steps. It does work.

Nubie - OMG you are too funny - I love your humor and how you put it into words. People I'm sure think I'm crazy sitting on this train laughing at what you wrote. You brightened up my morning.

Peace and Blessings

ha ha! It is so funny now, but when it happened it wasnt, I was so mad! I have never been that heated about hair ever! It just struck a nerve.

That is just like my momma and aunt- they say Natural isnt for everybody, everybody cant go natural...What?!?!?!? WTF? Really? Do you really hear yourself? You are so brainwashed that you say everyone cant go natural and it is the hair we were born with? OUR NATURAL HAIR. I have seen too many relaxed ladies relaxing that peice of change they call hair. For what?!?!?!? I am talking about chicks with damaged relaxed hair. Those be the same ones bashing natural hair...chile please!

Ppl are a trip...

Yes, i was thinking it could be IB products too. I think the key to this method is, wet hair, making sure your product is through your hair all the way, and not touching and shaking it while it is drying.

It is best to follow every step. It seem like a lot but it isnt once you actually do it.

BlondeByDesire wrote:

MahoganyCurls wrote:

BlondeByDesire wrote:Let me start off by saying I love the Ladies on this Forum. I'm sitting on the train right now reading this. Great stuff.

IB - it will get better with time - be patient. I'm praying for your hubby's mentality to change and accept what GOD has given you. You are a Beautiful Women. At the end of the day its Your hair.

MC - Wow that was a great story - I'm sitting here laughing at the convo you ur hubby had and I too as I was reading can here your southern voice - which I love. I wish you could have given me some of those letters you cut off (lol). You gave IB great advice. It also could be the conditioner she's using. Also IB I believe you need to follow the technique as given to you and not try to tweak or take out any steps. It does work.

Nubie - OMG you are too funny - I love your humor and how you put it into words. People I'm sure think I'm crazy sitting on this train laughing at what you wrote. You brightened up my morning.

Peace and Blessings

ha ha! It is so funny now, but when it happened it wasnt, I was so mad! I have never been that heated about hair ever! It just struck a nerve.

That is just like my momma and aunt- they say Natural isnt for everybody, everybody cant go natural...What?!?!?!? WTF? Really? Do you really hear yourself? You are so brainwashed that you say everyone cant go natural and it is the hair we were born with? OUR NATURAL HAIR. I have seen too many relaxed ladies relaxing that peice of change they call hair. For what?!?!?!? I am talking about chicks with damaged relaxed hair. Those be the same ones bashing natural hair...chile please!
Ppl are a trip...

Yes, i was thinking it could be IB products too. I think the key to this method is, wet hair, making sure your product is through your hair all the way, and not touching and shaking it while it is drying.

It is best to follow every step. It seem like a lot but it isnt once you actually do it.

I know it wasn't funny then and ITA with you 100%. What I found humorous was that I can hear you saying these things to your husband.
OMG - you called their hair a piece of change - that's a new one. ROTFLMAO...

MahoganyCurls wrote:-IB, yes it is best to use a product that has water as the first ingredient. I wouldnt stress too much about it, just get a good product that has a nice amount of slip.

How is the Jessicurl rocking ringlets? I heard pretty good things about her products. Also, you may get a dull cast on your hair because you are using too many products at one time or a product isnt reacting well to another product. That is why it is best to use less products just in case your hair has a weird reaction so you can eliminate the culprit! Lol! HTH!

Intelligentbeauty wrote:

MahoganyCurls wrote:-IB, yes it is best to use a product that has water as the first ingredient. I wouldnt stress too much about it, just get a good product that has a nice amount of slip.

How is the Jessicurl rocking ringlets? I heard pretty good things about her products. Also, you may get a dull cast on your hair because you are using too many products at one time or a product isnt reacting well to another product. That is why it is best to use less products just in case your hair has a weird reaction so you can eliminate the culprit! Lol! HTH!

Thank you so much. Hard to tell right now but my 2nd wash n go was better because of those products. But I may have to get something even better.

BlondeByDesire wrote:^^^^ it was all good though ...