Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

My hair has been relaxed pretty much my whole life but a few months ago I decided to change that and transition! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I'm a little worried, but don't really care, about how black women (my family and friends) will respond when I say "I'm going natural, no more relaxers!!" So far some of them have said "OMG NO!" or "why? don't do it!"

I had an experience in high school (years ago!) when one day I decided to do bantu knots over the weekend. They didn't last so I picked them out into a big beautiful afro! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I thought the white girls would make fun of me and the black girls would love it, but these were the responses I got:

Black girls: "what happened to your hair"...."girl, you need a touch up"..."you look crazy!"
White girls: "aww you look so pretty"..."your hair looks cute, you should do your hair like this everyday!"

I was so confused! I was expecting more love from the black girls....I felt like they were letting me down. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I am sorry you felt let down. I have to agree I get more positive comments from non-black women than black women. I think it is due to the negative connotations associated with not straighting your hair. Funny my worst critic is my mother. Today she said, "Why don't you comb your hair?" My response, "It is combed." Today was the 3rd day of my T-N-C and I love it. Stay positive!

@Butterfly126: That's similar to the experience I've had. When I was transitioning, it was always the non-black girls that loved my hair. It was the white girls and the Asians mostly. They were like "Oh your hair is cute!" or "Oh you should wear your hair like that all the time!" This was when I was wearing bantu knot outs and twist-n-curls. My hair wasn't as big but it was curly and I loved it!

Now my friends that are black didn't dislike my hair. In fact they LOVED the transition styles!! What I heard from them is "Well this is the girl that can wear anything. If she shaved her head she'd still look good!" And I really appreciated the compliment but it was like black people automatically assume that they can't go natural or won't be able to "handle" their hair. They just think I'm unique and have "better" hair than them and I HATE HATE HATE that they think that! I've only convinced one friend to go natural but because of my youtube addiction, I've also inspired lots of new styles on people that are relaxed or have been natural their whole lives! I'm so glad that I've been able to do that. My favorite comment was from my friend on facebook. She commented on a pic of my bantu knot out and wrote "You give me the courage to wear my natural hair out" and I was so flattered!

Now fast forward to being natural: the white girls are still LOVING IT!!! A lot of them say "Man I wish I had an afro!" and they're always saying how much they love my hair. Unfortunately when this girl told me this, my other friend who is black said "You wouldn't want to deal with all of that hair." The white girl was not convinced and still really wants an afro. The black friend that said that sometimes says some "off" things but hey it happens!

All my friends that are my real friends absolutely love my hair natural. Surprisingly it's mostly the guys!!! They totally love the natural look *hint hint*


The only person that doesn't seem to like my hair is my Mom. She was always giving me these weird looks while I was transitioning and she was ALWAYS questioning why I wanted to do it. Isn't having healthy hair enough?!? And now that it's natural she actually kind of (I say that tentatively) likes it. She is so surprised that natural hair is so soft!! But her favorite style is actually bantu knots. Just the knots! And then she likes twists. She just likes hair that looks neat and I'm all about big and wild!!


Sorry for the novel but hopefully someone can relate!!!

They are allowed to think whatever hair texture they want is ugly. Plenty of people think the skin on their face is ugly because it's not perfect, or think their short or super long legs are ugly, hair is no different.

@TutuKia It's not WHAT they think, it's what's at work behind that thought process. I have no place to dictate the preferences of others, BUT if that thought process is fueled by self hate then it becomes a problem. Black hair is not "just hair" to many Black women. It's just not that blase. People have been denied employment, rejected by lovers, rejected by family, gone through depression both relaxed and natural due to the the state of the hair on their heads and how it is perceived. Hair and it's maintenance is a multimillion dollar a year concern in our community. That is hardly "just hair". Be that as it may, I see what you are trying to say, if only it were that simple on a wide scale.

@Butterfly126 Going natural takes courage! We want those closest to us to still find us beautiful and accept us when we make a decision like this. I had a similar experience in college. White girls on my campus LOVED my hair lol. The Black girls on my campus were not with it at ALL until I grew out my fro Now they come to me for advice on transitioning, styles etc and I'm glad I could be that for them! So keep on doing what you're doing! You might inspire someone.

TutuKia wrote:They are allowed to think whatever hair texture they want is ugly. Plenty of people think the skin on their face is ugly because it's not perfect, or think their short or super long legs are ugly, hair is no different.

I don't think anyone is saying that they don't have the right to think it's ugly. They don't have to like it. I think people just generally have a problem with the knee jerk reaction a LOT of people have in thinking that your hair is going to be a nappy mess when you go natural

Thankfully, my experience has been positive and my family and friends like my hair, but I have heard some horror stories.

That's just my two cents though. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

classyPINK wrote:@TutuKia It's not WHAT they think, it's what's at work behind that thought process. I have no place to dictate the preferences of others, BUT if that thought process is fueled by self hate then it becomes a problem. Black hair is not "just hair" to many Black women. It's just not that blase. People have been denied employment, rejected by lovers, rejected by family, gone through depression both relaxed and natural due to the the state of the hair on their heads and how it is perceived. Hair and it's maintenance is a multimillion dollar a year concern in our community. That is hardly "just hair". Be that as it may, I see what you are trying to say, if only it were that simple on a wide scale.

thinking your non-perfect skin is ugly, brittle short nails are ugly, long legs or short legs ugly. All the same at the end of the day. They all require a thought process, just like putting a spoon to your mouth to feed yourself requires a THOUGHT PROCESS. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Also yes at the end of the day it is just hair, there are millions of people being killed from almost every corny of the globe due to major earthquakes is the past few months. Do you think getting a relaxer or going natural are making a difference in the world where it really matters? because it's not. It's really not a life or death issue. It's hair, get over it. You have no idea why someone might find their curly or 'kinky' hair ugly. Not every black person is hung up on events that they themselves have no idea of and have never experienced. Not all of us were born with a chip on our shoulder.
Just like some black men and women only date white, asian or hispanic men and women some find another texture more appealing than their own, whether it's straight wavy or curls.

And just like I can't say EVERYONE who "decided" to go natural went natural because they screwed up their hair and had no other option, you have no proof whether or not someone who finds a texture of hair that may be totally different from their own natural texture to be ugly has "self hate issues" finding something UGLY and hating it are two different things.

Where do people find the time to obsess over other women this much? you'd think lesbians would be the majority in the US with the way black women obsess over other black women and on top of that white women.

@ Thinice and bholmes87:
My mother also didn't agree with me at first. She told me "You just turned 20, now is not the time to do something like this. You're suppose to be pretty all the time!" I hated that! But after I told her my reasons she accepted it and is even helping me look for good natural products to get me started.

@TutuKia:
I agree that at the end of the day hair is just...hair! But mainly black women chemically alter their hair so that they can "fit into society" or "look the part". To me, that's a problem. They want to look presentable towards the majority of the population (white people). With my experience I was shocked that the white people we try to impress found me more beautiful with natural looking hair!!!!

And you asked "Where do people find the time to obsess over other women this much?" Well at curlynikki.com we LOVE to obsess over each others hair! And we find the time to do it just like you found the time to post your comment.

i was on fb looking at some pics from highschool & one of my friends had her hair in what looked like it could be a braidout (even though she has a relaxer...but it looked nice) & my other friend commented that it looked a mess & then the 1st friend was like "your hair doesnt have to be bone straight all the time" & the other one was like "yeah but nappy was never cute!"

Butterfly126 wrote:@ Thinice and bholmes87:
@TutuKia:
I agree that at the end of the day hair is just...hair! But mainly black women chemically alter their hair so that they can "fit into society" or "look the part". To me, that's a problem. They want to look presentable towards the majority of the population (white people). With my experience I was shocked that the white people we try to impress found me more beautiful with natural looking hair!!!!

And you asked "Where do people find the time to obsess over other women this much?" Well at curlynikki.com we LOVE to obsess over each others hair! And we find the time to do it just like you found the time to post your comment.

The majority of women in the US are not East Asian so the majority of women in the US do not have naturally straight hair with no curl pattern. So straight hair is nothing to want simply to "fit in" unless the majority of the women in the US had actual straight hair with no sort of curl pattern. Since straight hair with no curl pattern is most common in EAST ASIA if a ton of black women were wanting straight here over THERE it would be to fit in with the millions of women with naturally straight hair. Which would make more sense.

Btw the majority of the overall population of humans on this earth is ASIAN, lol. Not all east asian obviously. But Asian regardless.

And who is trying to impress white people? lol why do so many black people spend soooo much time thinking about white people? I didn't even know what white or asian (sadly lol) was until I turned about 10, as funny as that looks it's true - I can't remember a time or place any non-black person or black person said a negative word about my natural hair, or relaxed hair. I guess that's the benefit of not walking around with a chip on your shoulder. If you go around looking for issues and worrying constantly about what other people think of your hair you're going to find alot of issues. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Come to think of it I can't recall one racist, prejudice or hateful remark made to me by any white person, and I live around all white people. And have always lived around mostly white people. Hell I even have white people married into my family. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] lol. Yet I still don't sit around wondering what they're thinking about every single thing, that makes no sense.

Egh that is an ugly thing to say!?

My sister in law actually thinks it's ugly too but would rather hold on to permed thin scraggly hair. Now, THAT is ugly. Healthy anything is always better than sick anything. I've tried to show her some beautiful natural do's. She keeps saying my hair is too nappy. I'm like all of our way is nappy, but you have to work with it to get it healthy. You can treat it like it's permed hair. ANY woman can wear natural hair, you have to find what works for you.

iri9109 wrote:i was on fb looking at some pics from highschool & one of my friends had her hair in what looked like it could be a braidout (even though she has a relaxer...but it looked nice) & my other friend commented that it looked a mess & then the 1st friend was like "your hair doesnt have to be bone straight all the time" & the other one was like "yeah but nappy was never cute!"

[b]

[quote="BohoStreet"]Egh that is an ugly thing to say!?

My sister in law actually thinks it's ugly too but would rather hold on to permed thin scraggly hair. Now, THAT is ugly. Healthy anything is always better than sick anything. I've tried to show her some beautiful natural do's. She keeps saying my hair is too nappy. I'm like all of our way is nappy, but you have to work with it to get it healthy. You can treat it like it's permed hair. ANY woman can wear natural hair, you have to find what works for you.



I agree that Healthy anything is better! I'm a health freak when it come to food and exercising. I'm even going into the medical field. So I thought "why not be a health freak when it comes to my hair?" LOL

TutuKia wrote:

Butterfly126 wrote:@ Thinice and bholmes87:
@TutuKia:
I agree that at the end of the day hair is just...hair! But mainly black women chemically alter their hair so that they can "fit into society" or "look the part". To me, that's a problem. They want to look presentable towards the majority of the population (white people). With my experience I was shocked that the white people we try to impress found me more beautiful with natural looking hair!!!!

And you asked "Where do people find the time to obsess over other women this much?" Well at curlynikki.com we LOVE to obsess over each others hair! And we find the time to do it just like you found the time to post your comment.

The majority of women in the US are not East Asian so the majority of women in the US do not have naturally straight hair with no curl pattern. So straight hair is nothing to want simply to "fit in" unless the majority of the women in the US had actual straight hair with no sort of curl pattern. Since straight hair with no curl pattern is most common in EAST ASIA if a ton of black women were wanting straight here over THERE it would be to fit in with the millions of women with naturally straight hair. Which would make more sense.

Btw the majority of the overall population of humans on this earth is ASIAN, lol. Not all east asian obviously. But Asian regardless.

And who is trying to impress white people? lol why do so many black people spend soooo much time thinking about white people? I didn't even know what white or asian (sadly lol) was until I turned about 10, as funny as that looks it's true - I can't remember a time or place any non-black person or black person said a negative word about my natural hair, or relaxed hair. I guess that's the benefit of not walking around with a chip on your shoulder. If you go around looking for issues and worrying constantly about what other people think of your hair you're going to find alot of issues. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Come to think of it I can't recall one racist, prejudice or hateful remark made to me by any white person, and I live around all white people. And have always lived around mostly white people. Hell I even have white people married into my family. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] lol. Yet I still don't sit around wondering what they're thinking about every single thing, that makes no sense.

It's not just wanting to have straight hair to look like white or Asian people or whatever. It's about the people you are around your family and community. My mom personally wants straight hair, no naps kinks whatever. She will never stop being relaxed. She has been this way since she was younger and my grandma instilled that in her. If people don't change the thought process from generations way back then they will continue thinking the same way and have the same beliefs. It all stems back from wanting to fit in in a society run by white people who disliked and looked down on anything ethnic. So it's not necessarily about what people say now. It's stems deeper than that, so women, especially women with curls, kinks, coils, etc., will continue to obsess about hair, because it is something that affects them personally.

Janique wrote:
It's not just wanting to have straight hair to look like white or Asian people or whatever. It's about the people you are around your family and community. My mom personally wants straight hair, no naps kinks whatever. She will never stop being relaxed. She has been this way since she was younger and my grandma instilled that in her. If people don't change the thought process from generations way back then they will continue thinking the same way and have the same beliefs. It all stems back from wanting to fit in in a society run by white people who disliked and looked down on anything ethnic. So it's not necessarily about what people say now. It's stems deeper than that, so women, especially women with curls, kinks, coils, etc., will continue to obsess about hair, because it is something that affects them personally.

Your mom is your mom, she doesn't speak or represent the majority of black people, american or otherwise. I have a ton of ethiopian cousins that have been in the US for less than a year and still relax their usually curly hair like they did when they lived in other areas like Korea, or Brazil. I have one ethiopian family member with wavy textured hair (think tatyana ali type hair) and she has a digital perm. (to make it more curly looking)

Not all black people were born with a chip on their shoulder or are American, the majority of black people aren't even American.

There's nothing wrong with straight hair, and there's nothing wrong with anyone wanting something they don't have. Plenty of asian girls get digital perms because their hair would hold a curl for very long. And plenty of them get thermal relaxers because they have a curl pattern. Why dont you let BLACK WOMEN be NORMAL girls for once and allow us to have a prefence regarding whats on each of our heads and what we want to do with it.

I'm short and wish I had a VS models height, but I don't. There's no deep rooted reason for that unless you consider having issues finding jeans short enough for me a deep rooted issue. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] lol But overall the only thought process taking place is that, and the fact that super long legs is something I DON'T have, so I want it of course. But I am aware of women 5'10 and above that have trouble finding jeans to fit their legs aswell.

Of course I know my mom is my mom....my mom was an example...and of course I can't speak for everybody...but there are quite a few women who feel that way...and I don't think it's necessarily a chip on their shoulder....but there are some deep rooted issues as to why many black women straighten their hair today...and many of these issues are passed down from their ancestors who looked negatively at kinky and curly hair....it shouldn't be this way but it is...and I don't think it has to do with just being American either....

i guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. *KANYE SHRUG*

i've always been told if you don't have something nice to say, keep quiet. those who feel that natural hair is ugly or they feel they need to say "natural hair isn't for everyone" (which i've heard many times, it may not have been directly addressed toward me, but it's been said indirectly i guess they were too chicken)... are entitled to believe that. relax away, texturize away, do whatever they want to do. it's their head. but me.... i'm going to be natural and i'm going to LOVE and embrace my natural and my versatility and whatever else comes with it.

people automatically jump to the assumption that natural is frizzy, nappy, unruly, unprofessional, messy, or loc'd, fro'd, walkn around lookin like Celie from The Color Purple. but natural is just plain and simple; no chemicals. people chose what they want their natural to look like. (if that makes any sense) it's always like natural has a negative connotation.

no matter what people say or think about what YOU want to do with YOUR hair. i guess we gotta try not to let it get under our skin because a majority of black women still live under the stigma that relaxed hair or chemically treated hair is the only way to go. it's a shame that someone that we don't really relate to, just in the fact that we're human we have the same blood and bones just more melanin than they do will think that us in our natural state (be it kinky, curly, wavy, or straight) is beautiful before our own kind.

not to make it seem as if we're not letting black women be normal. they can do whatever they want to do, & they have the right to think whatever they want to think, choose whatever they want to choose. but when it comes to me, i guess if i don't ask for their negative opinion, i don't want it so for someone to pop off at the mouth and say "it's ugly" or "i like your hair better this way" or "oooh you need a relaxer" or "natural hair ain't for everyone" or "you need to straighten your hair" or all the other things one could possibly say...keep it to yourself because i don't wanna hear it.

but i sort of went off on a tangent because i'm tired of black women putting each other down instead of uplifting one another. and i'm tired of a negative connotation automatically being attached to natural. i wish people would take of their ignorance cap and let the open-mindedness flow.

TutuKia wrote:

Butterfly126 wrote:@ Thinice and bholmes87:
@TutuKia:
I agree that at the end of the day hair is just...hair! But mainly black women chemically alter their hair so that they can "fit into society" or "look the part". To me, that's a problem. They want to look presentable towards the majority of the population (white people). With my experience I was shocked that the white people we try to impress found me more beautiful with natural looking hair!!!!

And you asked "Where do people find the time to obsess over other women this much?" Well at curlynikki.com we LOVE to obsess over each others hair! And we find the time to do it just like you found the time to post your comment.

The majority of women in the US are not East Asian so the majority of women in the US do not have naturally straight hair with no curl pattern. So straight hair is nothing to want simply to "fit in" unless the majority of the women in the US had actual straight hair with no sort of curl pattern. Since straight hair with no curl pattern is most common in EAST ASIA if a ton of black women were wanting straight here over THERE it would be to fit in with the millions of women with naturally straight hair. Which would make more sense.

Btw the majority of the overall population of humans on this earth is ASIAN, lol. Not all east asian obviously. But Asian regardless.

And who is trying to impress white people? lol why do so many black people spend soooo much time thinking about white people? I didn't even know what white or asian (sadly lol) was until I turned about 10, as funny as that looks it's true - I can't remember a time or place any non-black person or black person said a negative word about my natural hair, or relaxed hair. I guess that's the benefit of not walking around with a chip on your shoulder. If you go around looking for issues and worrying constantly about what other people think of your hair you're going to find alot of issues. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Come to think of it I can't recall one racist, prejudice or hateful remark made to me by any white person, and I live around all white people. And have always lived around mostly white people. Hell I even have white people married into my family. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] lol. Yet I still don't sit around wondering what they're thinking about every single thing, that makes no sense.

I think what I have put in bold is the key. Experience. We are all a product of our experiences and environments. People who feel differently than you have had different experiences. You feel the way you do b/c of what you have experienced. I, on the other hand, cannot say that I've never had a white person say something racist to me. The comments were not regarding my hair, but it was definitley racist and it was not a veiled comment that could be misconstrued. It was pretty blatant on each occasion. However, I understand that those people are not the majority.

So, the people who believe that there is self-hate involved with relaxing have just had a different experience than you have. So, neither side is wrong. Some people just like relaxers b/c it's easier and they prefer the look and some think that natural hair is unacceptable and ugly.

I went natural for neither of those reasons. I got sick of paying to have my hair relaxed. So, essentially...I'm cheap. LOL [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Hello ladies!

Yesterday was my first day wearing my hair in it's natural state and I was a little nervous about what my (white) co-workers would say or if they would stare. Surprisingly, I received a lot compliments about my hair the HR manager (who is white) came up to me and was like, "Girl that's the style now, it looks nice! I like it!" I was pretty shocked because I was expecting everyone to give me stares since white people don't really know much about AA hair, well the ones I'm around don't. I hope that I will get the same reaction around black folks although their opinion really shouldn't matter.

When I was in Germany I had a German woman (she was white but specialized in doing black women's hair) flat iron and cut my hair. It was just time for a change and I trusted her because of all the rave reviews I heard about her work. Once she washed my hair she praised the front and back (my 3C areas) b/c it was so curly and wavy, but the middle (my 4a) area, she dogged out. "Why is the middle so thick and hard to work with....I love your curls but the middle section just doesn't cooperate....why don't you get a relaxer....don't you want to relax your hair so its easier to work with...etc..." I had to hear these comment for the 4 hours it took her to do my hair. Needless to say, I never went back.

Many of my German and white (or non-black) American co-workers only commented on my hair when I straightened it. They would tell me how I looked like a "woman" with straight hair and my curly hair made me look like a girl...and other crap along those lines.

I've been natural all my life and the most compliments and support I've received have been from black women and black men.

StephanieB wrote:
I think what I have put in bold is the key. Experience. We are all a product of our experiences and environments. People who feel differently than you have had different experiences. You feel the way you do b/c of what you have experienced. I, on the other hand, cannot say that I've never had a white person say something racist to me. The comments were not regarding my hair, but it was definitley racist and it was not a veiled comment that could be misconstrued. It was pretty blatant on each occasion. However, I understand that those people are not the majority.

So, the people who believe that there is self-hate involved with relaxing have just had a different experience than you have. So, neither side is wrong. Some people just like relaxers b/c it's easier and they prefer the look and some think that natural hair is unacceptable and ugly.

I went natural for neither of those reasons. I got sick of paying to have my hair relaxed. So, essentially...I'm cheap. LOL [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Um, yeah experiences. I live in Cohasset, MA. A 'upper middle class' 99% White neighborhood full of kids that will be going to Yale, Harvard and with parents who went to those type of schools... And will be going to a 99% "white" college in Boston very soon. And so far my experiences due to the fact that I don't have a constant chip on my shoulder have been good. Like I said if you go around looking for issues and things to over analyze you will find them because you'll create them.

That and the fact that alot of black people don't even know what racist means to even be using the word. Unless you've had some white person come up to you and just randomly state they hate you ONLY because you're black, or some white person come up and state that they believe you deserve less rights ONLY because you're black it wasn't racist. Look it up in the dictionary before you go using that word on anyone. White people aren't black, neither are Asian or Hispanic people they are allowed to think any "black" feature including your hair is ugly if they want. Doesn't make them racist.

Believe what you want, but do realize that you are no better than any other prejudice ignorant person if you feel you're actually RIGHT for making generalizations towards your own people, or any people for that matter. But if you're okay with that then that's great. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Like I said...I can't wait for the day when some black women will just let other black women behave like normal women. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Well u are entitled to you own opinion or whatever knowledge you have Tutukia so continue on with that. Having or not having a chip on your shoulder doesn't change that there are people who are still racist, biased, or whatever. We may not experience it as much as we did before but it does still exist....

@Kia It seems like we should just agree to disagree LOL. It's so funny how much you remind me of myself when I was about to head off to college from what you're saying. I too lived and went to school in an upper class WHITE section of Massachusetts so I know the scene lol.
I'll say this, I am new to CN so be it far from me to dictate the tone of the site, but I thought this was a forum in which to exchange ideas, not attack each other. I understand what you're saying Your opinions and experiences are most certainly valid and welcome with open arms! What probably isn't best are snide and judgemental remarks. However the opinions and experiences of others are welcome as well. We're all in a different place in our journey in life! Let's celebrate and enjoy that rather than fight Furthermore, no one here seeks to deny black women the joys of normalcy (whatever that is)... that would just be absurd. However, it is perfectly ok for us to come and vent or say things here that we feel we can't say to others because this is (in my opinion and I'm sure Nikki would agree) a supportive environment. You may have not experienced racism and issues regarding your hair but many of us have so for you to basically claim that this problem is nonexistant or that we may have created it is really unfair. The fact of the matter is this: there is a constant bombardment of negativity that many of us experience due to our hair, skin, and bodies being seen as not only "different" by the media and popular culture but inferior or somehow "not normal". I nor did anyone else on this site actively seek out or create this thought process... it has been there since before any of us were born and affects many of us still. So let's all woo-sah, lol! We're all here for the love of the curl

classyPINK wrote:@Kia It seems like we should just agree to disagree LOL. It's so funny how much you remind me of myself when I was about to head off to college from what you're saying. I too lived and went to school in an upper class WHITE section of Massachusetts so I know the scene lol.
I'll say this, I am new to CN so be it far from me to dictate the tone of the site, but I thought this was a forum in which to exchange ideas, not attack each other. I understand what you're saying Your opinions and experiences are most certainly valid and welcome with open arms! What probably isn't best are snide and judgemental remarks. However the opinions and experiences of others are welcome as well. We're all in a different place in our journey in life! Let's celebrate and enjoy that rather than fight Furthermore, no one here seeks to deny black women the joys of normalcy (whatever that is)... that would just be absurd. However, it is perfectly ok for us to come and vent or say things here that we feel we can't say to others because this is (in my opinion and I'm sure Nikki would agree) a supportive environment. You may have not experienced racism and issues regarding your hair but many of us have so for you to basically claim that this problem is nonexistant or that we may have created it is really unfair. The fact of the matter is this: there is a constant bombardment of negativity that many of us experience due to our hair, skin, and bodies being seen as not only "different" by the media and popular culture but inferior or somehow "not normal". I nor did anyone else on this site actively seek out or create this thought process... it has been there since before any of us were born and affects many of us still. So let's all woo-sah, lol! We're all here for the love of the curl

Well said!!!!

Lynnieluve wrote:

classyPINK wrote:@Kia It seems like we should just agree to disagree LOL. It's so funny how much you remind me of myself when I was about to head off to college from what you're saying. I too lived and went to school in an upper class WHITE section of Massachusetts so I know the scene lol.
I'll say this, I am new to CN so be it far from me to dictate the tone of the site, but I thought this was a forum in which to exchange ideas, not attack each other. I understand what you're saying Your opinions and experiences are most certainly valid and welcome with open arms! What probably isn't best are snide and judgemental remarks. However the opinions and experiences of others are welcome as well. We're all in a different place in our journey in life! Let's celebrate and enjoy that rather than fight Furthermore, no one here seeks to deny black women the joys of normalcy (whatever that is)... that would just be absurd. However, it is perfectly ok for us to come and vent or say things here that we feel we can't say to others because this is (in my opinion and I'm sure Nikki would agree) a supportive environment. You may have not experienced racism and issues regarding your hair but many of us have so for you to basically claim that this problem is nonexistant or that we may have created it is really unfair. The fact of the matter is this: there is a constant bombardment of negativity that many of us experience due to our hair, skin, and bodies being seen as not only "different" by the media and popular culture but inferior or somehow "not normal". I nor did anyone else on this site actively seek out or create this thought process... it has been there since before any of us were born and affects many of us still. So let's all woo-sah, lol! We're all here for the love of the curl

Well said!!!!

VERY, VERY well said. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Eloquently said and CLASSY - classyPINK. And thank you!!!