sooo, what do you think about the natural vs relaxed discussion??

i saw this thread:

http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/general-f3/friends-with-relaxers-t1791.htm

thoughts??

Like I said in my previous reply, I lucked out because I have friends who are relaxed, but respect and support my decision. But when I hear/see other relaxed sistas disrespecting/insulting/degrading natural sistas, it breaks my heart and makes me angry to be honest. Especially when many of those doing the insulting know good and damn well that their backside-length weave IS NOT their natural hair, and have the nerve to front as if it IS.

As far as natural v. relaxed.

I think relaxed has some benefits in terms of being aesthetically pleasing and was easier for me to take care of (in between relaxers that is). As for healthy, I'm sure some people have achieved some good healthy hair with relaxers but the cons outweigh the pros for me, a chemical mixture that can induce burns and basically strips protein and natural oils and for many years I've seen older women with a lot of hair loss who continue to relax regardless of the damage. Jeez, for years I've been suffering with burns and tender scalp.

My biggest inspiration to move away from relaxer hair was wondering how I never learned to take care of my "nappy, picky" hair. It kept bothering me that I was so scared to deal with it. What was so wrong with the hair growing out of my head. Why does straight hair or slightly curly, wavy hair get all this rave reviews and african hair is left at the hair salon, marinating in relaxer.

Does that mean I look down on or make snidge, derogatory comments about relaxed hair? Hell no. I compliment ladies on their hairstyles and dyes and still like the look and feel of relaxed hair but I'm in a different mental state of mind. Perhaps those ladies have been natural and decided to relax again, perhaps they don't know and feared/were confused by their natural hair like I was, perhaps they're too far gone into the ideology that "nappy" hair is bad hair. Who knows.

Does that mean I think having natural hair is better than relaxed hair? In my situation, it sure is. Budget wise, it's great. no more trips to the salon, smelling relaxers or sitting around under dryers. I won't lie, sometimes I feel like I'm out of the mind game of bone straight European influenced hair...and I watch my other ethnic neighbours with their weaves and relaxers and wigs and shake my head. But I remind myself, I am not in their head and they are not in mine. So I keep it moving and ignore the hairs and colours and skin tones.....and get back to everyone as human beings.

oooo I am at work..this is a at home type of response....I WILL be back

Honestly, I'm 50/50 about this video. Mostly because I'm getting the impression that she just didn't want to be natural anymore and went back to the relaxer for a change. And that's fine--it's her hair, her decision. However, I do feel that she's forgetting that someONE, someWHERE will ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY whether your hair is relaxed or not. We're damned if we do, damned if we don't and someone will always complain where we won't.

I think she was more or less VENTING about the response she got about going back to the relaxer, and then got wrapped up in the natural vs. relaxed debate. Which, I do agree, is rather ridiculous and a win for the mainstream in pitting black people--especially the women--against one another in whatever way possible. First it was light vs. dark-skinned, now it's natural vs. relaxed. Anyone see a trend here?