Am I Overreacting

Move on and don't look back. You are not overreacting. You are underreacting and ignoring countless warning signs and red flags.
HTH

Naturally Esq wrote:Move on and don't look back. You are not overreacting. You are underreacting and ignoring countless warning signs and red flags.
HTH

I totally agree! Keep it moving and start anew. 6 years is a long time but you shouldn't have to feel obligated to him because of that amount of time. Your happiness is much more important!

serenesky04 wrote:SO my bf and I have been together for almost 6 years this September. I am now sure what to do. Over the past years I’ve broken up with him a number of times but I have always gotten back together with him. We haven’t dated outside our relationship. I’m 23 and he is 34. He’s actually my first boyfriend ever. We met from an online chatting room. One day I called him for a computer problem and we have been talking ever since. The problem I have is that I feel like it may not work out. He still wants to marry me. We’ve been engage for 3 yrs. Very long story about that. Out of the list of things that bother me this is something I wonder about. Is it ok for you boyfriend, fiancé, or husband to have friends with the opposite sex. I think it is ok because they might have had that friend before you or while working. My bf hangs with exes when they are in town, goes out with girls he said he had a crush on. He plays video games with this girl from the target store. Chats online in different chat rooms. In particular one called tiny chat where ladies sometimes randomly expose themselves to viewers. He told me I can’t stop him from having friends and because his family no longer lives in town these are the people he involves himself with. I don’t know if I should leave because 6 yrs is so long and I don’t want to think about being with anyone else but him.

I know just how you feel! I have been in the same situation with my significant other for a little over 6 years now off and on. Although he doesn't exactly do the whole chat thing, he does hang out with a lot of females. Not only that but he depends on certain females to do things for him. And the biggest problem of all is that he doesn't communicate with me which is a big pet peeve of mine! We have never been engaged because we always argue and I always leave him just to go back. Then the cycle starts all over again! Stupid right? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Yeah I know. Now I have finally reached the point to where I am so ready to let this go for good and move on but it does seem hard to do. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad if I was constantly busy which is why I can't wait for school to start in the fall. But yes from experience, you need to let him go for good and I'm going to do the same! We're in it together and I know we can do it! So let the journey begin!

Honey run...very fast!!!! There are so many things wrong with this situation.

I understand what you mean about people doing things for him. He doesn't drive and so when we hang out I drive everywhere. SO I am assuming the reason why he chats is because he can't drive. I did the bus thing for the first three years and it sucks being out in the hot sun and the storms. If I am not driving him places others are. By the way he stopped driving a car over 8 years ago because he got in 3 accidents in a year and he has to have corneal transplant one day because his vison isn't the best.

Well it use to be so bad with us to the point where we would be out in the mall or somewhere and he would just about break his neck looking at other females and his reaction was "damn!" I was like "hello, do you not see me right here walking next to you?" He travels a lot with his job and I have found condoms in his suitcase and an empty box in the car under the seat. He claimed his homeboy was driving his car. So the list goes on! Oh and by the way he's 14 yrs older than I am! But I've heard all kind of lies, excuses for not returning my calls, texts, etc. I'm just to the point to where I'm fed up now and I find myself always mad and taking it out on everyone else when they don't deserve it. So this time, it's a done deal because I can't continue to live like this!

Serensky, one other thing I can say is please don't make excuses for him. That wil KEEP you going back! You can't feel sorry for him either! Trust me, he would still the same thing he's doing now(if not more) if he didn't have with his eyes and it's not going to get better if you marry him! Let it go asap! You will be better off! Besides we shouldn't settle for their crap!

justicenga wrote:Honey run...very fast!!!! There are so many things wrong with this situation.

yeah...my mom doesn't hit me, but she would've beat my arse if she found out i was dating a 28 year old at my age (turning 17 this september)! wow

Naturally Esq wrote:Move on and don't look back. You are not overreacting. You are underreacting and ignoring countless warning signs and red flags.
HTH

Agreed!

Ebbz wrote:

Naturally Esq wrote:Move on and don't look back. You are not overreacting. You are underreacting and ignoring countless warning signs and red flags.
HTH

Agreed!

Do not ignore your instincts. You are questioning because deeply you feel that something isn't right. Don't get trapped into something that years later you'll regret or be miserable. You are young and have your future ahead of you. Run, run, run and keep moving forward.

I agree with everyone else you should leave...you may feel like six years is a longtime to just give up.... but spending your lifetime with him could be a living hell... imagine the things you dislike now magnified by 100 if you can't stand it now you wont stand it.... I witness a good friend of mine marry with doubts now she struggles with a strained marriage because a happy marriage takes work... why have the extra stress of is "girlfriends" interfering? All in all do what works for you just remember that your happiness comes first in my opinion.

Please don't take this the wrong way but baby you are 23. Why are you even thinking about being married at this stage in your life? And to someone you believe has or has the potential to have fidelity issues no less? This man has had 11 years longer than you to perfect his "game". Don't let him use your love for him as an excuse to guilt you into letting him treat you any old type of way. And if this is your first boyfriend then what do you have to compare him to? Please don't let him set the standard by which you allow yourself to be treated. If it feels wrong in your gut then it probably is. Take a breather, travel, go to school, and/or enjoy life. B/c believe me if trust issues exist in your relationship now they will not magically disappear once he puts a ring on it.

i agree w/ every1 else...don't waste ur time

@goombagirl u said it all! Great advice!!!