I'm Trying

Hello! I am new to the group and I was referred to this website by a Facebook friend. About a year ago I cut majority of my shoulder length hair. I cut my hair because I wanted a new look and I had long hair all of my life. Up until 2 weeks ago I was adamant about getting touch-ups so that my hair wouldn't be unmanageable. I have been thinking for the past few months about cutting off my relaxed hair so that I can begin my transition to natural hair. So far my boyfriend is the only person that is supportive of my decision. He is actual excited. I am not saying that I need approval from anyone I just need support and I also need for the negative and ridiculous comments to end. I told my mother of my decision and she seems to think that I will not be able to manage my kinky hair. She also believes that since I work in Corporate America and since I am one of the only Blacks in my office that my hair style will be frowned upon. This is the same woman who told me when I was young that I was not allowed to get a relaxer until I was old enough to understand why I needed to get one. When I was a child she encouraged me to be an individual and to do what I felt most comfortable with doing. Her reasoning for discouraging me is simply confusing. I also mentioned to a girlfriend of mine that I was thinking of letting my hair grow out naturally and she says, "Nah, dont do it...you wont like it...it's too much money to keep it up...your face will break out...". Ummm, what? How does she know? She has been getting relaxed as long as I have known her (14 years). I contacted my stylist and told her of my intention and that at my appointment tomorrow I want to cut my relaxed hair and grow my hair out naturally. She told me that she didn't think that I would be comfortable wearing my hair in one style but she will definitely cut it for me. *SIGH* Maybe, I should have not told anyone. These negative comments are really killing me. I was so excited yesterday evening but now I just feel a little discouraged... Help! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Don't listen to them. The only opinion that matters is your own. At the end of the day, when it is all said and done, you are the sole person with your hair. Not your mom, sister, hair stylist, coworker, etc. I am in a similar situation where I have friends who don't see why I'm going natural and my mom thinks I'm going to get a perm any day now. I've only transitioned for almost 5 months and I love it. There will always be someone, somewhere, trying to bring you down and make you feel inferior. The way I see it, if we were BORN with different hair types, everyone should be respectful of these differences.

Just take it a day at a time. I know you can do it. This website has a great support system. Although I am a quiet lurker, I always learn something new and encouraging every day from these lovely ladies.

Thanks so much! I am so ready to do this. I have to admit that I am a little scared but tomorrow is MY TIME! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thanks so much! I am so ready to do this. I have to admit that I am a little scared but tomorrow is MY TIME! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yeah I mean in the end its gonna be you dealing with it not them. Of course some people think I am going through a phase also, but this is more than just a phase!! I am currently in my 9th motnh of transitioning and I never thought I could go longer than 8 weeks without a perm. This website is great for support, questions, advice, anything. If I can help Im glad too!! Welcome to transitioining!!!!

As a child I was taught to not let the opinions of others become your own opinions. I agree that you shouldn't allow someone else to influence your judgement. It's your hair and if the Creator wanted you to have a different hair type(naturally straight) he would've given it to you. You are you and I'm glad your boyfriend is very supportive. If people let go of society's image of black beauty or differences in general we could progress further than we have. I'm very happy you made this decision or even contemplated transitioning. God put it in your heart for a reason so why not manifest this idea?

I am new to the site as well and I have been transistioning since January of this year. You know it's a funny thing but since I decided to go natural, I could swear I see more women of color on television going natural as well. Hang in there, maybe if there are enough of us out there willing to do this and be confident with our decisions, we will help to show others that it is okay to be natural and instead of natural being the exception, it could become one of the norms. Come back to the forums tomorrow and let us know how the cut went.