Quickest way to a setback

Let's learn and share....

Since starting your healthy hair journey what techniques/mistakes/routines have you experienced or observed of others that can result (or has resulted) in hindering growth or hurting progress made?

For me, I'd say trying soooo many different products. I've found that my hair thrives when I have a simple routine with as few products as possible. (& my wallet thanks me as well) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

IMO,overstyling. When I wore a different style every day I never retained length. I have also noticed some bloggers/vloggers that style frequently - have not shown any length retention in a year. As a result I stopped following them - I was picking up bad habits

Wearing the hair in a bun or pony with brushed, combed or gelled down edges for months at a time. Your ends may not be touching your clothing, but your edges will be screaming traction alopecia with this practice.

AimWard wrote:Wearing the hair in a bun or pony with brushed, combed or gelled down edges for months at a time. Your ends may not be touching your clothing, but your edges will be screaming traction alopecia with this practice.

Realising that things like this don't apply to everyone, and not to get freaked out an paranoid about every single thing that I read about that could possibly be bad for my hair is one of the first steps to take in my hair growth journey. I've worn my hair in buns for most of my teenage years and I never had any thinning edges and my hair was BSL.

Just generally stop freaking out about sulfates, silicones, protein sensitivity, heat damage, oils, moisture, deep conditioning...all these things and just listen to what my hair wants. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

A-Felice wrote:

AimWard wrote:Wearing the hair in a bun or pony with brushed, combed or gelled down edges for months at a time. Your ends may not be touching your clothing, but your edges will be screaming traction alopecia with this practice.

Realising that things like this don't apply to everyone, and not to get freaked out an paranoid about every single thing that I read about that could possibly be bad for my hair is one of the first steps to take in my hair growth journey. I've worn my hair in buns for most of my teenage years and I never had any thinning edges and my hair was BSL.

Just generally stop freaking out about sulfates, silicones, protein sensitivity, heat damage, oils, moisture, deep conditioning...all these things and just listen to what my hair wants. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

That's great that you can wear your hair in a bun for months without any breakage or balding around the edges but I see women every day (and I was one of them) both relaxed and natural rocking tight buns and ponies (weaves and braids too) with broken, dangerously thin, or straight up bald edges. Even celebrities suffer from this (think Naomi Campbell).

I know my original response was bleak, but this thread is about set backs and something like this can be a MAJOR setback if you don't proceed with caution. True, you shouldn't freak out about every little thing, but you shouldn't turn a blind eye to the obvious as well.

Stay AWAY from store dyes. I already had a pile of SCAB HAIR (mostly the ends). Trying to color my hair only made matters worse. I swore to myself this year that if I DO color, I'm going to use henna instead.

Trying special treatments before evaluating your hair needs.

For example, I did the backing soda treatment (didn't need it) and it left my hair feeling like straw and and extremely brittle.

SLOOOOOW DOWN!

I don't know why I was always in a rush to do everything with my hair. I would try to snatch combs, brushes, whatever else out of my tangled hair all because I was 'in a rush' to be done.

Slowing down and doing things to my hair in sections has helped tremendously.

ITA with AimWard about the taking care of your edges. Mine are now in recovery after years of abuse. Now that I'm natural I'm a little worried about styling and being able to maintain them. I want to wear the cute puffs, but not at the expense of my edges.

For me, I got so caught up in that damn denman brush that I was popping and breaking my hair off. Not only was I using it incorrectly but I was using it VERY frequently, just to try and get some defined curls...its best that we learn how to use styling tools instead of over using them...

BrownSkinDiva wrote:For me, I got so caught up in that damn denman brush that I was popping and breaking my hair off. Not only was I using it incorrectly but I was using it VERY frequently, just to try and get some defined curls...its best that we learn how to use styling tools instead of over using them...

That reminds me of another set back - not learning how to detangle properly. After I figured out what I was doing I am not able to detangle with anything available. Wide tooth comb, denman, fine tooth comb...etc
Prior to finding the error of my ways I was pulling and popping hairs all over the place and I was roughly combing dry hair. For an entire year I did not retain an inch of length.

BrownSkinDiva wrote:For me, I got so caught up in that damn denman brush that I was popping and breaking my hair off. Not only was I using it incorrectly but I was using it VERY frequently, just to try and get some defined curls...its best that we learn how to use styling tools instead of over using them...

I did the same exact thing with the Denman. When I got done my hair was a ripped out, frizzy and undefined mess. I'll revisit it when my hair gets longer and I actually have enough hair to brush through. lol

I live by the K.I.S.S rule. I tell myself all the time to Keep It Simple, Stupid!! The minute I try the latest and greatest treatment or technique is the minute I mess my hair up.

Heat damage.. quickest way of losing a few inches or more of hair. Almost every week seems like I'm reading about someone who let someone else fry their hair, or they did it to themselves and are now regretting it.

I agree with not overstyling. I was doing protective styles now for about a year (give or take) and now I have broken off hair in the front from constantly doing buns, twists, etc. Now I'm gonna leave my hair out and only rock a loose high pony if I do any styling at all and see how that works out.

Oh man.. where to begin?
1. NOT MOISTURIZING ENOUGH. that was a biggie. I thought that conditioning my hair every time I washed it (twice a week) was enough.... uh, guess again. I don't know how long my hair would be now if I hadn't lost inches of it to split ends and knots. (not that I don't still get those, but I'm chalking some of that up to other damage issues).

Furthermore, not sealing after moisturizing. I spent years just adding leave-in and no oils/butters. This was the year that I really got on the ball with that.

2. Not doing decent trims. In an effort not to straighten, I'd try to trim my hair in twists, but the hair was all different lengths and I didn't want to cut off too much hair, so I'd only cut off part of the bottom. I'd say 40-50% of my hair got trimmed this way. Oy. Anyone surprised by my lack of length retention yet?

3. Going to most "professional" hair stylists. I limited this to once or twice a year, because I know that many stylists would YANK my hair out and fry it to a crisp before I could say 'Stop!', but its hard to find stylists who will be patient with tightly coiled hair. So the few times I've been to a stylist since I've been natural I have probably sustained some damage (Which I am just now finding, because before this site I didn't know what to look for in terms of damage).

4. Not doing protective styles. 'Nuff said.

Right now I'm trying to keep my hair in good condition and will faithfully trim (the right way!) until I no longer notice excessive splits, and those damned white dots! I'm also going to keep my hair in mini-twists this summer and see how I like it/some length retention.

Man, this was long? Moral of the story: Don't be like me.

AimWard wrote:Wearing the hair in a bun or pony with brushed, combed or gelled down edges for months at a time. Your ends may not be touching your clothing, but your edges will be screaming traction alopecia with this practice.

YES! I have a part at the front of my head where my hair is SUPER thin, it's actually depressing to look at lol [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. Now I've been like frantically applying Black Onyx's Hair Growth Oil as if it's a miracle worker [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I hope it is though hahah.

Great topic.

I agree w/ alot of the comments... trying new products frequently b/c you've seen that it works for someone else--not listening to what your own hair needs. Been there.

I got caught up by the Denman for a moment too, but quickly found out that it was the reason behind my single strand knots so I stopped using it for a while ,until I figured out when/how to use it that worked best for me.

+1 for the denman brush and comb abuse. You should not be hearing snap, crackle, pop when you detangle. Regretably, I did this for years...

That's great that you can wear your hair in a bun for months without any breakage or balding around the edges but I see women every day (and I was one of them) both relaxed and natural rocking tight buns and ponies (weaves and braids too) with broken, dangerously thin, or straight up bald edges. Even celebrities suffer from this (think Naomi Campbell).

I know my original response was bleak, but this thread is about set backs and something like this can be a MAJOR setback if you don't proceed with caution. True, you shouldn't freak out about every little thing, but you shouldn't turn a blind eye to the obvious as well.

My statement wasn't aimed specifialy at your comment alone..obviously I know that wearing your hair in a bun constantly can thin your edges, what I was saying is that the best thing you can do for your hair is listen to it and do what works for your hair, not what everyone else is doing for theirs.

Also, I think you missed my point, nowhere was I saying that not being paranoid about everything meant that you'd should go turn a blind eye to the obvious, because that's just counterproductive, rather I meant that being paranoid about your hair can set you back because if you're so nervous and worried about things that may never happen to your hair you might miss some of the things that are happeneing to your hair, for example...using a Denman brush to define your curls cause you read somewhere that it could and not realising the fact that you're breaking your hair off by using the Denman brush.

We get so focused on small things that we fail to see the big picture.

I concur with the edges! My edges are very fragile now and slowly growing back...I did buns/ponys/puffs and always focused on "slickin down" those edges...now my hair has paid the price!

Trying to achieve a curl pattern that I do not have!! My hair is a mix of 3c/4a/4b...I was stubborn with the front of my hair (which is currently 4b) and tried to make it look more like the other parts.... (texturizing/shingling/you name it, i've tried it!)

cutephantasm wrote:Trying to achieve a curl pattern that I do not have!! My hair is a mix of 3c/4a/4b...I was stubborn with the front of my hair (which is currently 4b) and tried to make it look more like the other parts.... (texturizing/shingling/you name it, i've tried it!)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ITA w/ the bolded! I think I got really caught up in this for a minute, but I'm starting to realize that for the most part I do not have the cute little curlies that everyone else has. My hair, especially the front and sides are more of a cottony texture. If piling on the gel is the only way I can get my hair to look like it has curls, then forget it! My focus is now on healthy, soft, moisturized hair!

Thanks ladies for sharing all your tips.

I agree about the Denman brush, I had those tiny braids in my profile pic, took them down with some conditioner and denman and broke my hair so bad, after so many DC's to repair, I ended up cutting. I mean what a set back !

1. I learned to to just take every "guru" advice on youtube

2. Never again with the Denman, only use my fingers and maybe ouchless good wide tooth for detangling.

3 Listen to what my hair wants.


4. I am following Chicoro's goal point method for growth. It really spoke to me. My goal is back to my collar bone, which is where it is in my nape. I will not let it grow past this point, until the bulk of my hair catches up. This time I will have full even hair.

5. I wrote down a goal plan and I will honor my hair, taking my time and really listening to what it needs.


Hard lesson to learn but at the end of the day, I needed to go through this, time to change my thinking and practice when it comes to my hair. I am going into my 3rd year. I refuse to be one of those people who have been natural for years with no length retention. God help me.

I agree with the KISS and stop buying all those different products. my hair loves homemade products.

Jonezy wrote:Great topic.

I agree w/ alot of the comments... trying new products frequently b/c you've seen that it works for someone else--not listening to what your own hair needs. Been there.

I got caught up by the Denman for a moment too, but quickly found out that it was the reason behind my single strand knots so I stopped using it for a while ,until I figured out when/how to use it that worked best for me.

How do you use your Denman now?