Re: Being Natural in the South

by **tiashaunteé** 21st December 2009, 6:01 pm

Shones wrote:I think the demarcation line between ignorance and acceptance has more to do with socio-economic factors/general education levels than the North/South idea.

I currently live in Raleigh, NC, but I grew up in West Texas, went natural in Austin, and also lived in NYC and NJ for several years. I've have had overwhelmingly positive experiences in Raleigh-Durham, where university graduates and professionals come from all over the world to study and work. BUT if I drive an hour to some of the smaller, less-economically-advantaged towns (or bump into some at my local grocery store), my TWA will get some funny looks.

I am in the same area and that is exactly what I meant by those "deep country" comments and the people. In Raleigh-Durham you are more likely to see another natural when you go out.

by Curly Beauty 25th December 2009, 2:40 am

You are correct! Natural hair does have a bad rep in the south. I am from Atlanta, GA and I happen to believe that this bad rep could possibly be left overs from a slaver mentality. Any who, it won't stop me one bit...we have the perfect weather for wash and go's Smile

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by earthychic77 26th December 2009, 1:08 pm

Very interesting topic...My experience has truly been a mix of positive and "curious" comments. Some of the curiosity may have been perceived by some as borderline negativity. There are a few natural salons here and I see other naturals pretty regularly outside of people I associate with. I get compliments, questions, and the occassional "what kind of hair is that, the kind they use for kinky twists" lol. I do get stared at alot but I am a big girl and in heels can easily be 6'1 or 6'2 so I have grown accustomed to the stares and have become oblivious to it really. I didn't have natural hair when I lived in DC but when I visited this past August, I received just as many stares as I do here in NC, but the only comments about my hair were positive.

by Marche' 27th December 2009, 1:57 am

I live in MS and when I started my natural journey about 4 yrs ago, I maybe saw one or two naturals. I have recenlty begun to see natural hair amongst the younger genaration more and more. Just tonight, I went to the movies and I'm pretty sure I counted atleast five curly heads. MS is slowly coming along.

by Miss BL 3rd January 2010, 2:35 pm

I live in New Orleans and I can also relate. I went to the mall yesterday to buy a few things and did not see one natural head.

by Juices-n-Berries 3rd January 2010, 3:50 pm

@BL I can imagine! I lived there 2 yrs. Louisiana definitely isn't the city with many naturals. It's quite the opposite.

by dsteh23 8th February 2010, 2:53 pm

Shones wrote:I think the demarcation line between ignorance and acceptance has more to do with socio-economic factors/general education levels than the North/South idea.

I currently live in Raleigh, NC, but I grew up in West Texas, went natural in Austin, and also lived in NYC and NJ for several years. I've have had overwhelmingly positive experiences in Raleigh-Durham, where university graduates and professionals come from all over the world to study and work. BUT if I drive an hour to some of the smaller, less-economically-advantaged towns (or bump into some at my local grocery store), my TWA will get some funny looks.

I have been reading the posts, and I agree with this statement. You can be from the South, but if you have exposure to new things and have a different mindset, I find those individuals to be more excepting...My experience overall has been a good one. I have had mostly positive comments. The only negative comments I have gotten were from men who were raised in the country (the back woods). It is more a mindset, not a geographical location. A lot of my friends from the South were already natural, and really encouraged me to go forward (or didnt believe me!). My family was surprised--pleasantly surprised!

by MsJay1121 8th February 2010, 4:29 pm

Totally agree with Shones. I attend school in Charlotte, NC and there's TONS of naturals here... On campus my hair is the subject of talk, but it's always positive. BUT...

I actually live in a suburb of Charlotte, and, well... case in point: took a trip to the pharmacy yesterday with my hair in a big, curly fro.... disgusted stares for DAYS... and sadly, most of them were NOT from who I would expect them to be... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by Free2Be 8th February 2010, 10:50 pm

I live and move in a small group of people in Huntsville, AL. I work with them and go to church with them. So far, everyone has been supportive with only nice things to say about my TWA...except the students at my school (predominantly black). The middle school aged boys and girls (6 - 8 ) were all, "Oh, no! Why did you cut your hair? It was so pretty long!" and "I don't like short hair." or "Why don't you blow dry it straight again?" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] It almost got to me at first...I was very defensive and then I just laughed it off. I'm a grown woman, it's my head and I think it looks great.

My older brother, who always teases me (well, we tease each other) hasn't been exactly kind. I can't put my finger on it, but he always makes some comment that he means as a joke, but rubs me raw, i.e. "Hey, Kizzy." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] His wife, however, is natural, but only wears her hair slicked down. She saw this site up today as I was on the computer and I was showing her all the great styles and she said, "Oh, I don't have the hair for that. What would people say if I went to church with my hair standing up on my head?"

I was in shock because she does NOT have a relaxer, nor does she ever press it. I just assumed she was comfortable in her hair. On the other hand, she's shocked that I am into my hair now ("all of a sudden", um, I've been natural for at least 6 mos.). I must have really been a hair snob for that reaction, but I don't recall ever disparaging anyone else's hair; I just didn't like wearing my own hair curly...but that was before I found sites like this one and knew how to style it and maintain it.

Overall, I'd say I've received positive responses. My mother's lone complaint, if it is a complaint, is that the steps involved (based on what I've read here) seem tedious, i.e. the shampoo, co-wash, deep treatment, styling products process. She wears her hair naturally too and we both have the same hair type and TWA and every time I offer her a new tip she's like, "You're going to have to write that down. This is too much work." LOL

by DeNaturelle 9th February 2010, 1:08 am

I was just having this converstaion with an older lady about this the other day. I told her that I can't understand why people here "Mississippi" make being Natural a huge deal. Don't get me wrong I get a lot of compliments but I also get a lot of "why do you wear your hair like that" the sad part about it to me is that alot of the older women are the main one that turn their nose up...but they wore it half of their lives! I am one that change hairs styles nearly weekly so you never know what to expect from me. I thank God that he has given me much confindence to handle it all! I love being Natually D!!

I wish we did have a Natual shop near Sad

by **Lynnieluve** 9th February 2010, 1:09 am

DeNaturelle wrote:I was just having this converstaion with an older lady about this the other day. I told her that I can't understand why people here "Mississippi" make being Natural a huge deal. Don't get me wrong I get a lot of compliments but I also get a lot of "why do you wear your hair like that" the sad part about it to me is that alot of the older women are the main one that turn their nose up...but they wore it half of their lives! I am one that change hairs styles nearly weekly so you never know what to expect from me. I thank God that he has given me much confindence to handle it all! I love being Natually D!!

I wish we did have a Natual shop near

Hey D!!!! Glad you join the forum!!

by DeNaturelle 9th February 2010, 1:17 am

Hi LynnieLuve,
Thanks, for telling me about the site...Luv it already [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by RoseNaturalBeauty 9th February 2010, 1:32 am

Hey Ladies!!! I live in the DC area now, but I am from the south, Beaufort, SC to be exact and when I first went natural in 2007, they thought I was on this black power/Afrocentric thing....and they thought I moved to DC and "lost my mind" then they would just ask me questions...like did I put a kiddie perm in my hair to get it curly, am I going to lock it, how come your hair is not nappy, what am I going to do with my hair, when am I going to perm my hair......stuff like that and my family would say...you always had "pretty hair" , so you can do the "natural thing" but I am patient and rubbing off on my family members...so hopefully there will be more natural ladies in Beaufort!!! Nevertheless, I always, always get compliments anywhere I go [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by hurjurnee 9th February 2010, 6:23 pm

@Juices-N-Berries...Sister, I can relate to the lack of 'natural-awareness' here in Houston. The interesting thing is that I know people who live in Austin, and they say that there are 'natural curlies' everywhere there! I wouldn't have guessed that, but I suppose that's why the ladies from Miss Jessie's are having their convention there in April (per NC.com)...
At the stuffy corporation where I work, everyone stares. My office has about 1,000 employees, and there are literally about 5 women with natural hair. I have gotten several positive comments from sisters over the past 2 years since I've embraced my natural beauty, but the negative comments that I have received all came from either my own family (which seems to be a trend) or African-American females. It amazes me how deeply primative our own people can be. We talk about 'going green' and doing things for our environment, as well as watching what we eat (for the most part...lol), but we (they) attempt to knock the next sister down regarding her God-given beautiful hair. I digress...when will it end?

by SisterBoyd 9th February 2010, 9:13 pm

I've been in Los Angeles, CA all of my life so this topic is pretty foreign to me. However, just before I came into this thread I was having a conversation with one of men in my life. Actually, he is someone I had a LDR with a few years go. He is originally from New Orleans, but after Katrina he relocated to KS. He told me today that he really didn't like my hair. When we met I was getting my hair pressed faithfully every 2 weeks. My long flowing, silky hair is one of the things that attracted him. The funny thing is that after we started exploring a relationship he started calling me high maintenance because I needed to have my hair done regularly...more because it would cost to keep me in the way he met me.

So today when he said that he didn't like my hair I just laughed. Of course it was a little tinge of hurt because I had feelings for him at one point. However, I respect that he likes what he likes...we will alway be JUST good friends Wink

by NaturallyJustMe 11th February 2010, 1:39 pm

Great post! I'm in Nashville, and there are maybe a handful of natural stylists, notice I said stylists, not salons. A lot of the ladies are still into weaves, hard hair, and things of the such. You can't even really find a lot stores that even sell natural hair care products. I went to one of the only ones that I know of this week and they were completely out of stock on so many products. Don't get me wrong, there are some natural ladies, but I think that we are sprinkled about here and there...

by **Lynnieluve** 11th February 2010, 2:14 pm

NaturallyJustMe wrote:Great post! I'm in Nashville, and there are maybe a handful of natural stylists, notice I said stylists, not salons. A lot of the ladies are still into weaves, hard hair, and things of the such. You can't even really find a lot stores that even sell natural hair care products. I went to one of the only ones that I know of this week and they were completely out of stock on so many products. Don't get me wrong, there are some natural ladies, but I think that we are sprinkled about here and there...

Did you go to Hunnee B's? I dont live in Nashville but my brother does. He and my sister in law purchased some MJ Baby Buttercreme from there for me. I know MJ is not organic or natural but I think they sale some natural products.

by NaturallyJustMe 11th February 2010, 2:29 pm

@ Lynnieluve...Yes that was the shop that had little to no stock!

by tamtam7 14th February 2010, 10:24 pm

Juices-n-Berries wrote:I can only speak from my personal experiences. I've attended 2 HBCUs. One in Louisiana and one in Texas. At the school in Louisiana, there may have been natural girls but they had (don't get mad) "good Creole hair". So, you wouldn't know. Blondie is right, it depends on what type of hair you have unfortunately. At the school in Texas, students dress like they're going to the club. To be honest, the whole southern belle idea is that everyday is a fashion show. I love it tho. I like to play dress up and I'm a total girly girl. My mother used to tell me all the time "don't go outside without anything on your lips" and "where you going with that t-shirt on" when I was younger. I don't even own a pair of tennis shoes!
LOL! My mother said the same thing to me when I was younger. I live in the south and I am from the south, kinda, most "true" southerners don't like to consider Florida to be the south, but I do. I have experienced the same problems. When I first moved to North Carolina, I received a lot of stares, couldn't find anyone to do natural hair, and was told by one of my employers that I need to make sure that my hair is "neat" at all times. I eventually started straightening my hair. I'm still uncomfortable wearing my hair natural at times. But this site really helps and more sisters that I work with are starting to wear their hair natural, so I guess things will improve slowly but surely.

I think the natural thing is becoming more popular now EVERYWHERE. So maybe we'll catch up one day...

by FrizzyWaves(formerly 3c) 15th February 2010, 2:36 am

Tamren wrote:I live in Atlanta, and you would think with all this diversity here, people would be more accepting. In fact, my co-workers are always telling me that I don't look right when I wear my hair out (bantu knots.) or that my hair would look "pretty" if I get it blown out.. I only had one supporter (at work) throughout my journey. When I went to a "natural salon"- they kept pushing me to straighten my hair and get it layered..

Say what?! I've been in Atlanta for 20 years...and it's like everybody has a natural here....there's just as many weaves/relaxers as there are naturals. I run into people(curlys) all the time....everywhere and we discuss natural hair....I cant agree that Natural hair isnt accepted here. Even on the Atlanta naturals Facebook there's like 400 members [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Theres actually a natural hair show in April...it's gonna be huge. U should come.

by RoseNaturalBeauty 15th February 2010, 3:10 am

3c...finally! wrote:
Tamren wrote:I live in Atlanta, and you would think with all this diversity here, people would be more accepting. In fact, my co-workers are always telling me that I don't look right when I wear my hair out (bantu knots.) or that my hair would look "pretty" if I get it blown out.. I only had one supporter (at work) throughout my journey. When I went to a "natural salon"- they kept pushing me to straighten my hair and get it layered..

Say what?! I've been in Atlanta for 20 years...and it's like everybody has a natural here....there's just as many weaves/relaxers as there are naturals. I run into people(curlys) all the time....everywhere and we discuss natural hair....I cant agree that Natural hair isnt accepted here. Even on the Atlanta naturals Facebook there's like 400 members [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Theres actually a natural hair show in April...it's gonna be huge. U should come.

I agree Atlanta does have lots of natural curlies.....and I will be at the hairshow in Atl and there is one in Baltimore in March!!!

by ktoliver5303 15th February 2010, 4:16 am

Great posting topic.. I was born and raised in the south I have been in the Houston Area all of my life. I COMPLETELY understand when it is said that we do not have very many naturals. It was so hard for me to even get product at home. It was not until I went to The Breakfast club (which I have never gone without seeing naturals there) that I was told where I can get Carols Daughter products. My hair was looking MIGHTY THIRSTY by that time. The church I plan on joining when I go home also have a lot of naturals but it is a more relaxed environment also. I do have stylist named Athena. She is the owner of Circle of Peace Natural Hair salon. I go to her faithfully when I come home on vaca. (which reminds me I need to set an appointment). When I was home in December I did see some wierd looks but hell my family rolls deep and though I am the only one wit a fro everyone else have locks. So they may just be looking at us in a whole.. But we mainly hang with the artsy bunch anyway. Fashion, Art, Music it our thing.

But the south is very conservative. They do not like to go against the grain AT ALL!! My husbands friends were looking at him crazy when I cut my hair. I posted it on FB and now every woman in our couples click is natural... They were like see what you let your wife start!!! LMAO!!

by Curly_Aquarius 17th April 2010, 11:47 pm

Well for my daughter it was a very hard transition she is 14 and all the girls have perms, weave or both for her to DO HER was bold she is now starting to love her hair and care for it. The thing is I had my aunt compliment her about going natural and I said I been natural for years her reply was "Shut up, you ain't natural your hair just good." I was very hurt but it's whatever.....

by ktoliver5303 18th April 2010, 12:36 am

Curly_Aquarius wrote:Well for my daughter it was a very hard transition she is 14 and all the girls have perms, weave or both for her to DO HER was bold she is now starting to love her hair and care for it. The thing is I had my aunt compliment her about going natural and I said I been natural for years her reply was "Shut up, you ain't natural your hair just good." I was very hurt but it's whatever.....

Well your daughter is very bold and courageous for taking the step to go natural so you should be very proud of her. As in for your aunt, I just charge stuff like that to old people feel they have the right to say what they want because they old. You just look, smile, and move on.

by Curly_Aquarius 18th April 2010, 12:41 am

ktoliver5303 wrote:
Curly_Aquarius wrote:Well for my daughter it was a very hard transition she is 14 and all the girls have perms, weave or both for her to DO HER was bold she is now starting to love her hair and care for it. The thing is I had my aunt compliment her about going natural and I said I been natural for years her reply was "Shut up, you ain't natural your hair just good." I was very hurt but it's whatever.....

Well your daughter is very bold and courageous for taking the step to go natural so you should be very proud of her. As in for your aunt, I just charge stuff like that to old people feel they have the right to say what they want because they old. You just look, smile, and move on.

I am proud of my baby, I tell her all the time how I'm proud that she do her own thing and not do what others do. Girl my aunt is 40 she should know betta, she get on my nerves. Thanks girl for those words I needed to hear that I thought I was missing a beat when I just smiled and nodded.

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