Interracial Relationships: reaction to your natural hair?

Hi, guys. I've been reading CN and forum topic for several weeks now, but this is the first time I'm posting a topic. I was wondering if any of you are in relationships with someone of a different ethnic/racial background. How did they react to your decision to go natural and subsequent results after going natural?

My partner is white and was mostly supportive, but a bit apprehensive about what the texture (and volume...lol) of my hair would look like. My partner loves the feel of my hair and my curls, but made a comment the other day about how my straight hair (it was a chin length bob) framed my face a bit better than my current curly 'fro. I never thought of it as an either or. It made me wonder what kind of comments other people get.

I'm a very independent person who does whatever I feel is best for me, but people always share their opinions. So what opinions has your partner/husband/boyfriend shared about your hair?

My hubby is Italian and he loves my natural hair --- when I told him how tired I was of my relaxed hair he was the one suggesting I cut it all off and sport a 'fro. Now I have to stop him from playing in it because he turns my little curlies into frizzies, lol.

That's great that he loves it. My partner likes to dig her hands I'm and play with my curls. I only allow it on 2nd day hair or two strand twists.

I see you're in England too and also from DC! What a coincidence. I'm living in Birmingham, UK. Where a abouts in England are you?

http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/life-f6/interracial-love-and-natural-hair-t2024.htm?highlight=interracial


Check it out ladies.

Popsbaby- thanks for digging up that thread for a newbie

My hubby is from India and Nicaragua is a curly but more of a 2c and has the smoothest hair ever that comes just below his ears. Although I'm a curly myself, our textures are sooooo different and I like that he's become very into curly hair care since I became natural. We use a lot of the same hair products and my friends just laugh at how when we go grocery shopping we spend a good 30 minutes discussing what products would be good for our hair etc..

And then there's our daughter who has a mix between our hair. Her hair is much easier to take care of as her hair is much easier to tame.

My boyfriend is Japanese and when I met him I had an edgy relaxed hair-cut. So as it grew into an awkward bob he'd watch me struggle to keep it looking okay. He asked me why I just didn't go natural. He's so excited about my journey. He wasn't with me when I did the big chop and I was afraid to send him pictures because I wasn't feeling so confident. But he was so supportive! He's like you look so pretty. You should have done this earlier.

Now if he sees another natural he'll just walk up to them and ask them all kinds of questions about their hair to pass the information on to me. I'm sure it's very awkward to the poor girls. Lol.

I noticed that I get more comments on my beauty from other races. They typically are hispanic or Indian men. I don't mind because they always tell me how exotic I look. I get noses turned up to me from black men and women, but in the end, I'm just doing what's best for me. I still think I'm beautiful no matter what anyone says. Good thing my ex boyfriend broke up with me because he only wanted a superficial me. his ex girlfriend was white, and he always compared us. I am a black woman i have kinks, curls, ass( sorry she was a pancake butt) and attitude. But still he always preferred a blued eyed blonde woman even when he tried to look past my color. But in the end, I have phone numbers pouring in from men who think i'm gorgeous because i dont have any air to hide behind, and i am showing the real me.

@whatgetsonmytits, oh yes I'm a DC native --- I live in Surrey.

@Kicha--Ah, the dirty south . how cool! How long have you been here? And why (if you don't mind me asking).

First of all your hair looks fabulous. My boyfriend is white and he was extremely supportive when I explained to him that I had to stop the straightening. It was too damaging. He loves my hair any way I wear it because he loves me and is happy with what makes me happy. He has never said anything but when I do straighten my hair now which is very rare, he gets very excited in more ways than one. I think he likes to see how different I can look on a daily basis. It also helps keep the romance fresh since he never knows what style I will be wearing on any given day. He wakes up excited to see me every day.

@Punkyskunk thinking of your Japanese boyfriend asking hair questions of naturals is too cute, lol! And very cool of him!

@ritajoy --thanks!--if you are talking about me . It's cute that your boyfriend is so excited about your hair.

My partner loves it in general and sometimes draws pictures of me when I'm detangling my hair or when I look crazy with my stocking cap on. lol.

@punkyskunk-- your boyfriend sounds absolutely adorable.

@whatgetsonmytits, I love that the 'dirty south'

I relocated Nov. 09 and got married Dec. 09 -- I fell for an Italian. He was born in Rome but grew up in England.

My husband is Irish and Italian. He loves my hair. I was natural for a little while when we first met. After getting another relaxer, and wearing that for a while, he had no problem with me going natural again. Even when I haven't done anything to my hair and I haven't put a bonnet on and I wake up looking like Don King in the morning, he has nothing bad to say. (He might give me a crazy look, but who wouldn't LOL) He used to ask a lot of questions, but now he's a pro.

I'm in an IR relationship and my fiance doesn't really bother me much about my hair. He just doesn't want it to be really short. His hair is extra-thick, wavy & BSL length btw, and we've been in a hair growing race (and he's winning dammit lol). He grows hair like nobody's business. Mine is very slow growing, baby fine, breakable.. total opposite of his. Even though he doesn't want it to be very short I may go afro length short again in the future for the health of my hair.. he's not going to leave me if I cut it.

It's great to hear so many supportive stories from you ladies. I guess I asked because my hair is much more a part of my relationship now than it ever was when I had a relaxer. I spent less time and money and whittled my weekly routine down to 2 hours from washing to flat ironing. But I think my partner is learning a lot more about curly hair now than perhaps she ever wanted to know. But she loves it.

My hubby is mexican and loves my natural hair. He likes that Im more confident than when I wore my hair straight ( when was limp and lifeless) Only time my hair looked good was when I was going to the shop for my press and curl every 2-3 weeks.
I think he was more excepting after seeing our daughter's beautiful curly hair and now he wants us to wear it curly all the time.
The only thing is that he doesnt want me to cut it short ( which I dont want to either but these heat damage ends in the front are pissing me off). He doenst like the idea of me getting sister/micro locks. Im still playing with that idea.

I couldn't imagine what they might be thinking.

I'm also in an interracial relationship. We dated when I was relaxed too. There are things about me being natural he loves like being allowed to touch my hair, that I no longer fear water and will run through the rain, and that I can do a poof in less than 2 mins and be ready to go. Still he hates the days when I spend hours in the bathroom deep conditioning, twisting, etc. He can't understand how much time and money Black women spend on their hair (although I think he felt the same way about it when I was blowing hundreds at the salon when relaxed). But overall he just thinks I'm beautiful no matter what I do with my hair, so if I'm happy he's happy.

I am not in an IR but I have a lot of Caucasian friends who are forever amazed at my hair. The other thing that is VERY telling to me is that going natural to my Caucasian friends is SO....NOT a big deal to then. My one friend said, "Yeah, just stop getting relaxers for the summer and see how you like it." (GREAT IDEA by the way, when I was unsure of transitioning, which I am still doing now.....). Another friend sometimes seems annoyed if I use the flat iron. She saw me one day and said, "I THOUGHT you said you weren't going to use any more relaxers!":-) I had to too HER to relax and remind her that I hadn't relaxed my hair, I had just used my chi iron. Another friend saw me with a braid out and yelled "WHOA! SEXY MOMMA! I LOVE IT!". Yet another, "Look at your roots! They are so thick and healthy!"
because many Caucasian people have hair that is easy to manage and comb through, I think hair has never been a big deal for my friends.....

I'm in a IR relationship. My husband is caucasian with BSL, 2a hair and he loves my curls. Actually he helped me cut it and told me to not go back to a perm. So now I'm trying to catch up with him again, as my hair was longer than his before we cut it all off. LOL His acceptance and excitement helped me with my journey and has made it a very pleasant.

My fiancée is white and he absolutely loves my hair, but there are time where he doesn't really understand it. For example, I will put some leave-in/moisturizer in my hair and he will run his hands through it and ask why my hair feels so greasy. I try to explain that my hair needs some kind of moisture in it or it will break off and sometimes I feel that he understands, but other times I know he doesn't. He also says that he couldn't have my hair because its too much work, but that is understandable because sometimes it IS too much.


He was there for me when I was relaxed (he even saw my mama put a relaxer in my hair) to when I chopped all my hair off. And I have discussed getting locs with him, which he is kind of impartial to, but he says that is MY decision! I know he loves me and my hair.

@Jaybella- this sounds closest to what I'm going through. I'm in a relationship with a woman who is white and EXTREMELY low maintenance so it's sometimes hard for her to understand the time and care I put into my hair, but she loves the results .

my fiancé/ex/bf ( long story). He's Mexican. He likes that I am natural. At first we both thought it would be kind of wavy. He actually though my hair would be like Mya(singer). I explained that my hair won’t get that way ever. He is not interested in locs. Sometimes he doesn’t get why I cancel dates and why it takes me all day to fix my hair. He wants me to wear it out but I'm not comfortable with it yet. He likes touching it and always telling me not to wear wigs or weaves.