Work Dilemma

Hey Curly Divas,
I have a work dilemma and I need input with finding a solution. Last month my manager was at my desk one day and mentioned to me that he was concerned about the amount of time another co-worker spent in my cube. I appreciated him sharing this with me. He stated that my co-worker's manager (his peer) had noticed it too and that basically that I needed to be mindful of it. I shared with him that it has been a concern but that we more often than not are discussing work and the conversation ocassionally migrates to other topics but that I too felt the conversations did tend to go on and on and on. I told him I would do better about stopping it/managing it.

Well ever since then I'm very conscious (maybe even super paranoid) about the co-worker coming to my desk, even if it is only related to work. I discussed with another teammate and they told me not to worry and that it did not appear to be a bad reflection on me because he didn't mention me doing anything wrong but rather that the co-worker who constantly comes to my cube appeared to be the problem (I hope so).

So anyway, I'm pretty cool with the co-worker who comes to my cube so I mentioned it to them that it was brought to my attention about the amount of time spent in my cube and that I didn't want to be looked upon badly and that basically we needed to talk during lunch or after work. You know I'm still getting visits! I don't mind chatting with this co-worker at all but didn't I already told them what's up. I take a lot of pride in my work and have TONS of stuff to do. Today, we were talking about work and sure enough my manager comes up and I'm like oh Lord. I told the co-worker later I'm paranoid about anytime they come to my desk. Why did the co-worker come by 4 times today and only 1 visit was truly work related. WTH?! I don't know what to do. I don't want to be rude or hurt feelings but I'm about to tell them to stop coming to my desk! Seriously! The visits are a distraction to be honest. I'm not sure if the co-worker has enough to do but this issue makes it appear that they aren't busy enough.

I don't want any issues and take a lot of pride in my work which my manager is aware of and has recognized me for, but I have a feeling I'm treading lightly. I don't know if it's being done on purpose now or what but I don't like it and need to do something. Help! What should I do?

Hey Dva! Happy New Year!

Since you already told the person, and you don't want "trouble"...just pick up the phone like you're on a call whenever they come to your space--no matter what. Sooner or later, they should get the picture. At this point, you shouldn't feel anything about it because you told them and they refuse to get the picture.

The person seems to be "playing" with you at your job! A definite NO-NO. Do the phone thing...then just straight tell them...LEAVE YOU ALONE! Then let your boss know the person continues to disturb you, even after the warning (email this...you want proof). You don't want trouble, but you don't want to be perceived by your supervisors as the problem either.

You never know, the superiors could be watching to see how you handle it. Big thangs may be in-store, don't let this fool ruin it for you!

Hey Ryl1,
That is a great idea. I'm going to use that one.

I think they are messing with me too. I guess we really aren't that cool then because they wouldn't do that if we were.

I can play with a lot of things but don't play with my money and that's what you're doing when you're putting my job in jeopardy with foolishness.

Thanks so much!

No problem, Dva!

Yes, that was my thought..."Can't have somebody messing with your money!" That's not a real friend, at all! ;-)

That person may be jealous of your skills...how much your boss is pleased with your work, etc. You never know with folks. But, hey, it's work...cut 'em loose!

Let me know how the phone trick works! ;-)

I work for a large company and, as a manager, needed to share some of the same concerns with my employees. My advice is to, whenever possible, go to your co-worker''s desk when work needs to be discussed. That way you can better manage how long the conversation lasts because you can just walk away. Advise your manager that you're going to try that so if he notices you away from your desk more, he'll know why.

Then when the co-worker comes to you and the conversation shifts from work to personal, let them know that you're swamped and need to focus. Say it politely and in a normal tone. Then turn around and start working. Few people will continue to talk when your back is turned.

Depending on the work environment, being a hardworker, a team player AND knowing how to handle difficult people/ situations will get you "promoted" quick! Hope that helps!

Takeya wrote:I work for a large company and, as a manager, needed to share some of the same concerns with my employees. My advice is to, whenever possible, go to your co-worker''s desk when work needs to be discussed. That way you can better manage how long the conversation lasts because you can just walk away. Advise your manager that you're going to try that so if he notices you away from your desk more, he'll know why.
Then when the co-worker comes to you and the conversation shifts from work to personal, let them know that you're swamped and need to focus. Say it politely and in a normal tone. Then turn around and start working. Few people will continue to talk when your back is turned.

Depending on the work environment, being a hardworker, a team player AND knowing how to handle difficult people/ situations will get you "promoted" quick! Hope that helps!

Takeya,
Thanks for such sound advice, particularly what I've bolded. I could barely sleep last night stressing about this and was thinking of how to, and if I should, mention something more (like an update) to my manager. Between what you and Ryl1 have suggested I will have nipped this issue in the bud in no time.

We are all adults here! You tried the nice approach. So I would be stingy with eye contact! I find if you don't look at a person they will walk away. Also why is it your role to male this person sat down somewhere? Why doesn't her boss or hell your boss tell the person to stop coming to your desk! AND if all else fails I know you have Sametime, tell them to use that or simply go off! Say " look fewl I told younthey are watching you...but you insist on coming bac, so now I am telling you stay away from me!"

sweetdrk1 wrote:We are all adults here! You tried the nice approach. So I would be stingy with eye contact! I find if you don't look at a person they will walk away. Also why is it your role to male this person sat down somewhere? Why doesn't her boss or hell your boss tell the person to stop coming to your desk! AND if all else fails I know you have Sametime, tell them to use that or simply go off! Say " look fewl I told younthey are watching you...but you insist on coming bac, so now I am telling you stay away from me!"

Yeah, I'm going to have to be very direct. If they're upset or offended to dag on bad. And I've told her them about sametime too. That to me was a better way to chat, ocassionally though since we are SUPPOSED to be working.

And my intiial reaction was like yours, why isn't her boss saying something to them but their boss does not manage issues like that and does not like conflict. So I'm on my own since my boss is watching.

Thanks for weighing in and your advice.

Hi Dva...

Before you say something directly...try this. When that co-workers comes to you desk DON'T stop working! Keep doing your work and don't make eye contact. Answer any questions, and if the conversations turns personally just politely say..."Hey let me get back with you on my break or after work, I need to get somethings done on my desk!"

I suggest this because this will work every time. Also, RYL1's idea about picking up the phone to make a call is great. If you can see this person coming to your work area...make a call and let that person know you'll get back with them when you're done with your call. Which you will only get back with them if you see them at lunch or when you take your break.

I've been known to talk to a sign post; however, I make sure I keep my office clear of visitors. We can chat in the break room, or even do lunch but not in my office or in our office area. Now if it is a work related that's one thing, but that doesn't take for every to resolve if it it does schedule a meeting. (I'm serious.....that is what I do)

I hope this works out for you, and I would try to resolve this matter without getting your manager or the other manager involved. It will look better for you if you can work it out among yourselves!!

HTH

KinkyNappyHappy wrote:Hi Dva...

Before you say something directly...try this. When that co-workers comes to you desk DON'T stop working! Keep doing your work and don't make eye contact. Answer any questions, and if the conversations turns personally just politely say..."Hey let me get back with you on my break or after work, I need to get somethings done on my desk!"

I suggest this because this will work every time. Also, RYL1's idea about picking up the phone to make a call is great. If you can see this person coming to your work area...make a call and let that person know you'll get back with them when you're done with your call. Which you will only get back with them if you see them at lunch or when you take your break.

I've been known to talk to a sign post; however, I make sure I keep my office clear of visitors. We can chat in the break room, or even do lunch but not in my office or in our office area. Now if it is a work related that's one thing, but that doesn't take for every to resolve if it it does schedule a meeting. (I'm serious.....that is what I do)

I hope this works out for you, and I would try to resolve this matter without getting your manager or the other manager involved. It will look better for you if you can work it out among yourselves!!

HTH

Great suggestion. She came today to my desk and it pissed me off. After she left I sat there incredulous thinking that I'm going to (politely) go off on her. I worked while she talked and eventually she left, particularly after another coworker on my team walked up and I turned to them to talk about work.

I really hate to involve my manger. I definintely don't want to give the appearance that I can't handle things however I do think that the manager(s) need to handle it if they see it as a problem. It's really not my responsibility to manage their employee! And I like what you said about no visitors. Maybe I'll post office hours so that people will know that during certain hours I'm focused on my workload/productivity and that for anything else that will take longer than a few minutes, they will need to check my calendar and schedule time.