CurlyNikki Community
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

+19
LaCaille82
Karyn
keeboo
JulezDeLaCurlz
curlsunfurled
jcanalena79
Lynnieluve
BajanPrincess82
MJFAN1980
marbar1908
Janique
BohoStreet
iri9109
StephanieB
classyPINK
TutuKia
bholmes87
Thinice
Butterfly126
23 posters

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by TutuKia 13th March 2010, 4:13 pm

classyPINK wrote:@Kia It seems like we should just agree to disagree LOL. It's so funny how much you remind me of myself when I was about to head off to college from what you're saying. I too lived and went to school in an upper class WHITE section of Massachusetts so I know the scene lol.

I'll say this, I am new to CN so be it far from me to dictate the tone of the site, but I thought this was a forum in which to exchange ideas, not attack each other. I understand what you're saying Your opinions and experiences are most certainly valid and welcome with open arms! What probably isn't best are snide and judgemental remarks. However the opinions and experiences of others are welcome as well. We're all in a different place in our journey in life! Let's celebrate and enjoy that rather than fight Smile Furthermore, no one here seeks to deny black women the joys of normalcy (whatever that is)... that would just be absurd.

However, it is perfectly ok for us to come and vent or say things here that we feel we can't say to others because this is (in my opinion and I'm sure Nikki would agree) a supportive environment. You may have not experienced racism and issues regarding your hair but many of us have so for you to basically claim that this problem is nonexistant or that we may have created it is really unfair. The fact of the matter is this: there is a constant bombardment of negativity that many of us experience due to our hair, skin, and bodies being seen as not only "different" by the media and popular culture but inferior or somehow "not normal".

I nor did anyone else on this site actively seek out or create this thought process... it has been there since before any of us were born and affects many of us still. So let's all woo-sah, lol! We're all here for the love of the curl Smile

Sorry maybe because I go to school I don't see that. What I see is products being produced and advertised for the MAJORITY, who happen to have a SIMILAR hair texture in comparison to those with a tighter or "kinky" curl pattern. It's supply and demand, very basic and not hard at all to understand why that evil evil "media" is not going to be 80% geared towards Kinky-haired products. Not their problem or concern that the majority of women in the US DO NOT have kinky hair.

Why would anyone with 3c to 4b hair be looked as having normal hair when the majority of the popular has 3c and above hair types? lol normal is mainstream and mainstream is the majority. There's no getting around that. I've never seen my hair type being called inferior, nor have I ever felt it was inferior, why would I expect the mainstream media to look at a hair type that isn't common among the general population of people in general as "normal" when it's not common enough to be normal? lol THAT would be a tiny bit racist, not to mention bad business.

Btw I never said racism and prejudice didn't exist, all I said was go open a dictionary and look up the two words before you go spewing crap about someone being racist. Those are two different things. All of the generalizations I see on here and on LHCF, ect. about white women and white people in general is prejudice, not racist but prejudice. People giving limited rights in a country based on race is RACIST. And people hating someone based on nothing BUT their race is racist by it's dictionary definition. Both are possible I suppose but unless someone is really that rude to state they hate you based on nothing but your race they are no different than the black people who spend their whole life worried about a whole other group of people, making generaliztions, ect.

I still stick by my opinion regardless, all I know is I grew up and have people married into my family that are the type of people plenty of black people sit around and talk all day about. And am around a bunch of rich snotty people every single day and have yet to experience any racism or prejudice. And I'm in Boston day in and day out, a so called "racist" city. Have been to Korea, a so called "racist" country AND Europe for months full of white people lol - yet the only racism or prejudice I have experienced is from black American people. How sad is that, lol. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Iduno maybe I'm just not so self involved to think I actually have the right to complain about *gasp* someone finding my hair ugly, when I have zero things holding me back from what I want to do in life. Sorry I don't waste energy on petty crap when there are people way worse off than I've ever been.

TutuKia

Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-03-02

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by JulezDeLaCurlz 13th March 2010, 6:26 pm

Main Entry: rac·ism
Pronunciation: \ˈrā-ˌsi-zəm also -ˌshi-\
Function: noun
Date: 1933
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2 : racial prejudice or discrimination

-Merriam Webster

I suppose my question is, is there a "chip" or a history that due to age and life experiences, may not be made aware of by every person.

While economics is simply supply versus demand, black hair care is a multi-billion dollar business, thankfully we no longer have look to others for supply, as there are many AA owned businesses targeted toward the health of our hair.

I'm sure several people don't twiddle there thumbs thinking about non-people of color, and like you I'm sure that several, like you, have not experienced any untoward speech or actions from other races.

However, since there are some, (and this is a hair care board) that have experienced ill words and actions from any race, it seems like the ideal place to vent.

While no, someone not liking your hair is "racist", there are incidences and precedents of prejudice against certain "ethnic" characteristics such as hair and the cultural styles that stem from race. Lawsuits have been fought and won using the Civil Rights Act, and the Unruh Civil Rights Act.

Since at one point in history, (40s, 50s and 60s) AA ladies couldn't get a job without their hair being pressed, it is only natural that the mentality to have "straight hair" remains. Which is why in the late 60s and throughout the 70s the afro became a political statement.

Although I don't have a "chip", I can see how some ladies, including the OP, are curious and concerned for the negative reactions they may receive.
JulezDeLaCurlz
JulezDeLaCurlz

Posts : 20
Join date : 2010-02-25
Location : In a padded white room with a funny jacket on...

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by TutuKia 13th March 2010, 6:43 pm

"racial differences" goes for every race considering every "race" has been slaves at one point in time, however no one alive today has. So I suppose we all have an "inerent superiority". Or maybe we just have selective memory when it comes to venting. segregation has NOTHING on being put in a camp or hunted down and killed by the millions, not even getting the option of slavery. (And don't even give me that 'jews aren't a race' because neither is black a race, and legally "jewish" was made a race and it still stands as one.)

And the ideal place to vent? lol is that a joke? "full" black women aren't the only ones with curly hair, there could be bi-racial women here with white mothers or fathers and take offense to the constant generalizations. Hell there could be curly headed white women on here that take offense. Ever see taylor swifts hair before she got famous and learned to take care of her hair better? lol it was plenty "nappy" LOL.

AA own hair businessed are not geared towards the health of your hair, the stuff in those products is exactly the same as the same in the green bottles with fruit and blonde women on them actually, lol. Just like how some "men" products are cheaper but have the same stuff in them as "women" shaving creams and crap like that. lol Kinda funny actually since alot of black women with longggg thick natural and relaxed hair will tell you some of the stuff in those "AA products" are the root of so many black womens bad hair care methods.
Doesn't matter but at the end of the day if any one product could just magically give you healthy hair they'd go out of business and wouldn't be able to open up a slew of companies with a bunch of new "improved" products geared towards the health of their wallet.

Yeah yeah yeah, and these days people get fired if they call someones hair nappy on a radio, in a country that prides itself of freedom of speech (of course that person being called nappy headed HAS to be black, or it's not racist). So apparently things have changed, if someone doesn't hire you for a job these days because of your hair you get to play the race card and they end up paying you without a day of work put in either way. Everyone wins. lol [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


JulezDeLaCurlz wrote:Main Entry: rac·ism
Pronunciation: \ˈrā-ˌsi-zəm also -ˌshi-\
Function: noun
Date: 1933
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2 : racial prejudice or discrimination

-Merriam Webster

I suppose my question is, is there a "chip" or a history that due to age and life experiences, may not be made aware of by every person.

While economics is simply supply versus demand, black hair care is a multi-billion dollar business, thankfully we no longer have look to others for supply, as there are many AA owned businesses targeted toward the health of our hair.

I'm sure several people don't twiddle there thumbs thinking about non-people of color, and like you I'm sure that several, like you, have not experienced any untoward speech or actions from other races.

However, since there are some, (and this is a hair care board) that have experienced ill words and actions from any race, it seems like the ideal place to vent.

While no, someone not liking your hair is "racist", there are incidences and precedents of prejudice against certain "ethnic" characteristics such as hair and the cultural styles that stem from race. Lawsuits have been fought and won using the Civil Rights Act, and the Unruh Civil Rights Act.

Since at one point in history, (40s, 50s and 60s) AA ladies couldn't get a job without their hair being pressed, it is only natural that the mentality to have "straight hair" remains. Which is why in the late 60s and throughout the 70s the afro became a political statement.

Although I don't have a "chip", I can see how some ladies, including the OP, are curious and concerned for the negative reactions they may receive.

TutuKia

Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-03-02

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by keeboo 13th March 2010, 6:47 pm

That's the thing (based on all the negative and positive comments about natural hair), People don't see you, your style or choices for who you really are - They judge you based on the context of their life,not by yours. It takes rare individuals to shake this human instinct.

I.G.: The grandmother/mother, who dislikes natural hair, was brought up believing nappy/coily hair was unattractive and not right(had an old woman tell me that she dreaded the 70s afro because it seemed that blacks went backward to slavery days. Strange..especially when it was an era when blacks seemed to stand up for the essence of black beauty), whites/others who comment positively seem to see it as another style that is exotic(use to seeing the flat look), pretty and something they can't obtain easily while others see it as strange and wrong because it brings unease. It's unfamiliar therefor wrong (german hair dresser who determined that the mid section of hair was not right...she felt it was her job to "tame" it(she had great reviews for doing this very thing). She had to remind herself/you that it was undesirable).

I know it is a trip yet it's human.Some people will always have something to negative to say until they take the time to internalize and process it/assimilate...herd towards pop culture. I think it's up to the individual who decide to go against the grain/do something personal to realize that you will not always have the approval of others. If you want to be seen as beautiful..you have to let yourself and others know this - don't leave this up to them. All that matters for your sense of sanity...is..feeling good about your choice.
keeboo
keeboo

Posts : 13
Join date : 2010-02-13
Location : Los Angeles

http://pettybo.tumblr.com/

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by Butterfly126 13th March 2010, 6:51 pm

@ classyPINK:
Thank you soooo much! LOL You are absolutely right! My subtitle for this topic is "Share your experiences", not to judge others and shut down their opinions. Everyone will have a different perspective and all we can do is learn from each other!

Thanks to everyone who has shared!
Butterfly126
Butterfly126

Posts : 89
Join date : 2010-03-07
Age : 34
Location : Boston

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by BajanPrincess82 13th March 2010, 7:15 pm

I just looked through a couple of comments in the forums and noticed that a certain poster likes to spread her/his negative attitude wherever they go. I guess that is just her/his MO. I like how most of us keep it positive and don't feed into the negativity.
BajanPrincess82
BajanPrincess82

Posts : 910
Join date : 2009-10-25
Age : 41
Location : Houston, TX

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by Butterfly126 13th March 2010, 7:25 pm

@BajanPrincess82:
I know exactly what you're talking about! How unfortunate! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Butterfly126
Butterfly126

Posts : 89
Join date : 2010-03-07
Age : 34
Location : Boston

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by TutuKia 13th March 2010, 7:27 pm

BajanPrincess82 wrote:I just looked through a couple of comments in the forums and noticed that a certain poster likes to spread her/his negative attitude wherever they go. I guess that is just her/his MO. I like how most of us keep it positive and don't feed into the negativity.

Aw I know it's so negative to tell people to stop with the generalizations, assumptions and pulling of the race card, and that whole selective memory thing when it comes to history.

So awful, the truth often does hurt. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

TutuKia

Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-03-02

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by BajanPrincess82 13th March 2010, 7:30 pm

Its just a message board, calm down. I'm not into beating people down online...just not my thing! Have a blessed day. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
BajanPrincess82
BajanPrincess82

Posts : 910
Join date : 2009-10-25
Age : 41
Location : Houston, TX

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by Karyn 13th March 2010, 7:46 pm

I think someone is having a bad day [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

This thread is something else lol
Karyn
Karyn

Posts : 753
Join date : 2009-12-24
Age : 30
Location : Brooklyn, NY

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by JulezDeLaCurlz 13th March 2010, 8:51 pm

@Butterfly,

Since the point of this was to share experiences and maybe support one another, that is what I will do. I merely offered other information to give an idea of viewpoints as to why some women may have negative connotations towards natural hair, since I dislike having words put in my mouth, I will post only to you.

Ultimately the choice is for you, not to appease others. My mother was against my decision to go natural, but it was mainly because she didn't want me to cut my BSL hair off. She loved it, but importantly, I love it. We all have different experiences, but whether positive, or negative, keep your head up.
JulezDeLaCurlz
JulezDeLaCurlz

Posts : 20
Join date : 2010-02-25
Location : In a padded white room with a funny jacket on...

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by iri9109 14th March 2010, 1:58 am

BajanPrincess82 wrote:I just looked through a couple of comments in the forums and noticed that a certain poster likes to spread her/his negative attitude wherever they go. I guess that is just her/his MO. I like how most of us keep it positive and don't feed into the negativity.
i agree.
iri9109
iri9109

Posts : 831
Join date : 2010-01-03
Age : 33
Location : Buffalo, NY

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by LaCaille82 16th March 2010, 2:05 am

Thank you ClassyPINK!
LaCaille82
LaCaille82

Posts : 1
Join date : 2010-03-11
Age : 41
Location : Savannah, GA

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by ktoliver5303 16th March 2010, 12:34 pm

jcanalena79 wrote:
Lynnieluve wrote:
classyPINK wrote:@Kia It seems like we should just agree to disagree LOL. It's so funny how much you remind me of myself when I was about to head off to college from what you're saying. I too lived and went to school in an upper class WHITE section of Massachusetts so I know the scene lol.
I'll say this, I am new to CN so be it far from me to dictate the tone of the site, but I thought this was a forum in which to exchange ideas, not attack each other. I understand what you're saying Your opinions and experiences are most certainly valid and welcome with open arms! What probably isn't best are snide and judgemental remarks. However the opinions and experiences of others are welcome as well. We're all in a different place in our journey in life! Let's celebrate and enjoy that rather than fight Smile Furthermore, no one here seeks to deny black women the joys of normalcy (whatever that is)... that would just be absurd. However, it is perfectly ok for us to come and vent or say things here that we feel we can't say to others because this is (in my opinion and I'm sure Nikki would agree) a supportive environment. You may have not experienced racism and issues regarding your hair but many of us have so for you to basically claim that this problem is nonexistant or that we may have created it is really unfair. The fact of the matter is this: there is a constant bombardment of negativity that many of us experience due to our hair, skin, and bodies being seen as not only "different" by the media and popular culture but inferior or somehow "not normal". I nor did anyone else on this site actively seek out or create this thought process... it has been there since before any of us were born and affects many of us still. So let's all woo-sah, lol! We're all here for the love of the curl Smile

Well said!!!!

VERY, VERY well said. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

VERY, VERY, VERY well said. Even though this has been said BEFORE to the SAME PERSON.. Humph..Some Teens these days [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] .... Barely can respect themselves enough to respect other people.

**Back to the Original Forum***

I get that a lot from my friends. Some tell me to comb a perm through it.. How can I dress formal because I will be Saks on the Bottom and Negro up top. YET the one chic that said the Sak comment just called me the other day saying she will never perm her hair again. She will just flat iron. My homeboy posted NNOOOOOOO to EVERY SINGLE PIC on my FB that I posted of my BC. LMAO!! Whatever we do to our hair is about us.. We all have a sense of self pride about ourselves to know that we are who we are. I just had a white lady stop me and tell me I JUST LOVE YOUR HAIR!! It is so sophisticated.

We as African Americans tend to shun anything new or change. What really made me step to becoming natural and really gave me the extra push was when my natural big sis sent me a link to this site. On there and one of the posting and it was a pic of a lady from the days of slavery hanging off of a tree by the neck, and beneath it is stated "Do you think she cared what her hair looked like".. I was like OMG... So true!! Why do we as a society think that we have to look like everyone on TV. I want to look like ME!
ktoliver5303
ktoliver5303

Posts : 828
Join date : 2009-10-28
Age : 41
Location : Working in Iraq; I live in Houston, Texas

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by CurlsGalore 16th March 2010, 1:16 pm

Honestly, I haven't come across anyone who has flat out told me that my hair was unacceptable, ugly, or what have you. They'll most likely think it in their heads, but I have yet to receive a blatant comment like that. Yes, I've gotten some side eyes from some folks, but it is what it is.

Actually, I have one incident, but it wasn't too out of order. Last year, when I was relaxed I took photos with my cheer squad and they are on display in our trophy case. I was standing by talking to someone and I was standing near the case, and the security officer (black dude) walked by, stopped, looked at the trophy case and made this wack @$$ comment: "There is something about that women in this picture. Mmm, hmm! I really like this woman in this picture!" I turned around and looked at him, and he asked me if I would ever go back to wearing my hair like that for our new pictures this year. I gave him the "why are you even talking to me" look, shook my head, no, w/a smile on my face, and kept it moving.

A couple weeks later, I wore my hair in a picked out fro to work for the first time. Same guy, sees me in the hallway and says, "Oh, ok! Is that a wig or is that all you?" Me: "It's all me! Him: "Well, it fits you. I see you now! Looks nice!" So needless to say, whether he thinks my hair is ugly or not, I believe it's not. I don't think he does, either.

The moral: Take me as I am or keep it moving.
CurlsGalore
CurlsGalore

Posts : 1296
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 45
Location : Texas

http://public.fotki.com/mahoganyface

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by transitioning? 16th March 2010, 3:38 pm

@curlsgalore. That story was just too cute.
transitioning?
transitioning?

Posts : 67
Join date : 2010-02-03

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by transitioning? 16th March 2010, 3:51 pm

Hey OP. Good thread. When I went natural the last time I didn't get many direct negative responses but I didn't get much support either(unless you count my mom [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ). But I understand where you are coming from. Its funny that people who have hair completely different than yours support your decision to wear your hair in its natural state. I don't find it surprising that the black women didn't have positive reactions. I wouldn't expect a staunch relaxed-head to love natural hair although I don't doubt that some do.
transitioning?
transitioning?

Posts : 67
Join date : 2010-02-03

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by jamaicacurl 16th March 2010, 3:51 pm

@Classypink - Well said!
jamaicacurl
jamaicacurl

Posts : 1702
Join date : 2009-11-04
Age : 45
Location : Atlanta

http://www.MishMashbyMarsha.artfire.com

Back to top Go down

Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?! - Page 2 Empty Re: Black women who think natural hair is....ugly?!

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum