Big Chop Prep

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Big Chop Prep

Post by It'sNotNappyIt'sMeJP on 17th March 2011, 11:15 pm

I've been secretly transitioning for six months now; my mother desperately wants me to relax my hair for graduation. My younger brother has been growing out his natural hair for a year now, and it's beautiful. He's got these gorgeous locks, and he doesn't comb them often, he just leaves them wild, and it looks great, so I'm a bit encouraged by that. But I'm still on my own here; I plan to do the big chop right after graduation.

Ever since I was in grade school, I was put down because my hair wasn't long enough, and my hair was too 'nappy'. So now, I guess you could say I have a complex, because I'm a bit scared of how I'll look without the hair I've been stretching out with relaxers for around seven years. I desperately want to go natural, because I want to be me ENTIRELY, without the chemicals and the mainstream stereotype of needing straight hair to be feminine and beautiful - I make my own beauty, I know that - but I'm still afraid I'll look like a man, or people will discriminate more. I'm even more afraid that I'll want to go back. I know these fears are senseless, but it's like a child in the dark - you can tell her there's no monster in the closet, but her heart won't believe it, no matter how much she wants to. How did you get over these feelings? Did you even have them?

It'sNotNappyIt'sMeJP

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Re: Big Chop Prep

Post by amchang on 19th March 2011, 2:22 pm

The BC is a big deal. Especially for black women! Fortunately society is starting to have a more open mind to "taboo" situations. It's sad wearing your hair the way you were born is considered taboo at all isn't it? I was worried about some of the things you mentioned above - will I be less feminine?; will other people say racist things or treat me differently?; etc. And I think the honest answer is - you'll feel sexy some days, and some days you'll wish you had more length; some people will be in love in with your hair, some will say "WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?!" with a huge frown. But whether you get good or bad feedback, remember why you want to do this. If people are giving you grief then it tells you how some people really are; do you want to surround yourself by self-righteous, shallow, and superficial people anyways? You're as beautiful as you believe yourself to be; if you feel like a million bucks, you'll look radient; if you feel ashamed people will pick up that vibe as well. It's all about the confidence factor.
1. Carry your head high, don't be afraid to smile and show people you're comfortable in your own skin. (MEN LOVE THIS!! I've been hit on by men of all races since my BC.)
2. Pamper yourself daily - it shows that you care about yourself and your appearance. (Big earrings and cute headbands are a great way to doll yourself up and look more feminine.)
3. Do other things that make you feel great inside and out! - such as exercise, a new hobby, etc.
The most average of women can be undeniably irresistable regardless of hair texture. Getting your sexy on is all about charisma!
However if you do decide that you're not in love with your BC you can buy a wig or get sew-in while your hair is growing out. You could even get a textured one so you can learn to do hairstyles.
But try to stick it out with the short cut, that way you'll learn your hair, how to wear it, and how it behaves. And you always have your natural girl friends here to vent to if you have a few bad days or hear some careless comments. I hoped this helped a little.
P.S. I'm married to an Asian man, I was so afraid of how he would take to my natural hair. He was (and still is) quite naive and ignorant to black hair. (He didn't know what a relaxer was and couldn't understand why his co-worker always had different hair everyday. I had to tell him it was a wig!) I thought he wanted straight asian/caucasian textured hair; I spent hundreds of dollars on sew-ins to have long straight hair. Once I decided my edges and hair was too damaged; I told him I was going to do what was best for my hair. He told me that's all he wanted was the natural me! He was looking forward to seeing my natural hair! Now he wasn't crazy about my haircut at first; but neither was I. Once I learned how to dress my TWA up and felt good about myself his whole attitude changed. Now he's all over me and can't keep his hands out of my hair! An asian guy! Who knew right?
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