Natural hair and sexuality

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Natural hair and sexuality

Post by songbird on 12th March 2011, 2:35 pm

Interestingly enough, since I went natural, I've been getting approached not only by WAY more men than I did when I was relaxed, but also WAY more women. While this is not exactly a problem for me Wink , I'm just wondering... Does short natural hair imply lesbianism to some people or something?

I remember Nikki featured a post on the blog a while back in which a woman shared her experience regarding another woman telling her to "do something with" her hair (shortly after her BC) because she "wouldn't want anyone assuming anything about her sexuality". I mean, really? confused scratch

I was just curious to know if anyone else has had experiences with this? (Maybe it isn't just my hair. Maybe I just give off "not exactly straight" vibes all of a sudden.. Razz )
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by Ambitious_Tiff on 12th March 2011, 2:53 pm

That's interesting. I can't say I have been approached by any women (to be hit on) since wearing more natural styles. I do think a women rocking short natural hair implies confidence and it makes you more unique. Maybe you're just more noticeable. You are a pretty girl so take it as a compliment. Very Happy
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by sweetdrk1 on 12th March 2011, 3:07 pm

Great response Tiff!
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by TiffNotANY on 12th March 2011, 4:04 pm

I have a friend who is rocking a TWA and she says the same thing. Women didn't hit on her until she BC'd. All I could say was "You're just that damn hot w/ ur twa that everyone wants u". Lol. I know a lot of men and women who automatically assume short hair = lesbian.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by ajsimmons8 on 12th March 2011, 4:18 pm

ditto on Tiff's response. Confidence is beautiful and the energy that you create when you're confident in yourself is definitely very attractive to all people.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by amchang on 12th March 2011, 4:34 pm

Hey songbird. I agree with everyone's responses. There is a sexual energy about confidence that everyone is drawn to. I've gotten lots of compliments and stares from all men as well...not just black ones, all KINDS!! Who would've thought right?? The lesbian attention can be flattering - HOWEVER - If you feel you want scream your sexuality and doll up your look you can add feminine head bands and big earrings. I went to Claire's and bought stretchy lace head bands, big feather earrings, some small flowers for my hair. I'm not big into looking like a little girl, I think it has to do with me being married at 21, I want to be taken seriously. Anyways Claire's has great options if you want to pursue a more girly look and still keep your sexy on!!
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by songbird on 13th March 2011, 6:11 am

Ambitious_Tiff wrote:That's interesting. I can't say I have been approached by any women (to be hit on) since wearing more natural styles. I do think a women rocking short natural hair implies confidence and it makes you more unique. Maybe you're just more noticeable. You are a pretty girl so take it as a compliment. Very Happy
ajsimmons8 wrote:ditto on Tiff's response. Confidence is beautiful and the energy that you create when you're confident in yourself is definitely very attractive to all people.
I totally agree with you ladies. I definitely feel more beautiful and confident now that I am natural, and I think others pick up on that energy. Thanks Tiff for the compliment, you're too sweet! Very Happy

TiffNotANY wrote:I have a friend who is rocking a TWA and she says the same thing. Women didn't hit on her until she BC'd. All I could say was "You're just that damn hot w/ ur twa that everyone wants u". Lol. I know a lot of men and women who automatically assume short hair = lesbian.
The whole short hair = lesbian thing is exactly my point. I think a lot of people make that assumption. And not just any old short hair, my hair was short when it was relaxed. I think short natural hair is what sets off gaydars. lol


amchang wrote:Hey songbird. I agree with everyone's responses. There is a sexual energy about confidence that everyone is drawn to. I've gotten lots of compliments and stares from all men as well...not just black ones, all KINDS!! Who would've thought right?? The lesbian attention can be flattering - HOWEVER - If you feel you want scream your sexuality and doll up your look you can add feminine head bands and big earrings. I went to Claire's and bought stretchy lace head bands, big feather earrings, some small flowers for my hair. I'm not big into looking like a little girl, I think it has to do with me being married at 21, I want to be taken seriously. Anyways Claire's has great options if you want to pursue a more girly look and still keep your sexy on!!
The attention from women is not a problem for me, as I am attracted to both men and women. I just found it interesting. I am one step ahead of you with the accessories. I've got feather clips and headbands and bejeweled pins and hair flowers and big earrings GALORE. It's like I've made a hobby out of collecting these things. Charlotte Russe also has some super cute hair accessories. Smile
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by creolebeauty1 on 13th March 2011, 10:19 am

I think to many people short hair (TWA) on a woman equals lesbianism , i also have to agree that confidence exude a certain energy that everyones is attracted too
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by KurlyKK143 on 13th March 2011, 11:23 am

good question. In my opinion those short hair does not directly put lesbian in my head. Maybe its ur beautiful face that now shows or just as everyone else said that undeniable twa confidence.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by deeply_rooted_chick on 13th March 2011, 11:41 am

Same thing happened to me after the first few months of my BC. Even my friend who was straight and knew I was too kept saying "Girl I could date you with that look." I have no clue what it is tho but I'm not offended.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by NiJewel on 13th March 2011, 6:11 pm

Years ago when I BC'd, I also got hit on by women... and men. But, getting hit on by women was very new to me. I never really knew how to respond lol It was always awkward.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by Lovnit85 on 14th March 2011, 8:15 pm

I live in the MD/DC area where there are many lesbian couples. I can say that for many of those couples one has short natural hair or locs as the masculine type. I've seen this too much for it to be a coincidence and I have a family member who fits this description. It's not just your aura of confidence, and its not just a stereotype, there is a cultural trend.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by reeko43 on 14th March 2011, 11:08 pm

I agree with Lovnit85. I am not negating any of the positive that has been mentioned here because I am sure the good looks and confidence are a major factor. However, throughout the years, even before the current natural hair wave, masculine lesbians were more often then not sporting what people referred to as a "butch cut". Those that didn't have a low fade had dreds.

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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by BeautifullyMehh on 16th March 2011, 10:09 am

OMG. I noticed that, here's a quick story...

Right after I got my BC I returned to school. One of my friends came up to me and said, "Omg, I never knew." Well of course I was confused. I said, "Never knew what?". She says, "Oh come on girl, you're coming out the closet. I guess it suits you." I was so speechless. And since then I have been approached by more men and particularly more women.

I don't understand it, but I get it all the time. Ever since I did my BC I've had way more confidence and I never thought people would second guess my sexuality? Life goes on... lol Very Happy
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by yldthng on 16th March 2011, 11:33 am

OK, I hadn't seen this thread before, but I almost posted something about this one day last week.

In the month I've been rocking my TWA, I have also noticed an increase in attention from lesbians. Seriously. I thought I was just being self-conscious or something - which makes no sense because confidence is just not something I lack. But something about this haircut has butch women smiling, grinning, and striking up conversation.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by songbird on 16th March 2011, 11:41 pm

Thanks for all the input ladies. As Lovnit85 said, it is happening way too often to be mere coincidence, and I don't think confidence has as much to do with it as we all would like to think.

I was speaking with a male acquaintance recently, and I commented on how beautiful a woman passing by us was. He asked if I was gay, to which I replied "Not completely", and he said something like "Well I'm sure a lot of people assume that you're gay with that hairstyle." Really?? I don't know how to hide my emotions, so I'm pretty sure I had a screwface on for the rest of the conversation. lol!
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by BeautifullyMehh on 17th March 2011, 10:15 am

@Songbird... I don't know how to hide my emotions either. Everything shows on my face lol. I have no idea how to fix that.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by songbird on 17th March 2011, 5:32 pm

@BeautifullyMehh, I'm so glad I'm not the only one! It's so annoying.
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by BeautifullyMehh on 17th March 2011, 8:50 pm

@songbird...Girl, tell me about it. I feel like I don't need to talk sometimes cause it's written all over my face lol. Its really annoying!
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Re: Natural hair and sexuality

Post by MelMelBee on 22nd March 2011, 12:47 am

This is really interesting...I've worn my hair in short cuts prior to me deciding to be natural. So I didn't notice any additional attraction when I was wearing my hair short and curly. However, since it's grown out.....I get the most compliments from GAY MEN Shocked

Seriously...A few weeks ago, I was walking out of a restaurant and a gay guy tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around he gave "2 snaps in a circle" and said "Werk that hair girl". That was the most recent, but gay men really seem to like my hair, so......

I WERKS IT!!!!! LOL
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