Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

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Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 28th February 2011, 12:11 pm

I've been natural almost 4 years (4 years in October). To say I'm frustrated with my hair is an understatement.

I went natural because genetically, I have very fine hair that is on the thin side and it's not dense at all. A horrible trifecta to me. I'm also a Type 1 Diabetic, so that affects my body in different ways.

At the moment, my hair is probably 5" - 6" at the longest, when stretched. I guess at almost four years, I was expecting...well, more. Truthfully, I don't look in the mirror and love my hair. I wish I could like I see people doing all of the time. It just seems very limiting to me, due to my length and texture. To switch things up, I get sew-ins and WOW - the complimens just flow about how pretty I look and how it fits my face, etc....Needless to say, the compliments I receive when someone else's hair is in my head do NOT help me any.

I don't know my purpose for writing this - maybe I just feel stuck. Relaxers are a no-no. They will make my hair look even thinner. Being natural is not what I thought it would be, so I don't know what else to do. There are days when I'm Super Natural Chick and NOBODY short of the Savior himself can tell me anything is wrong with me - those days are just becoming fewer.

But I am working on it. I've started working out to get my body better...I'm drinking water majority of the time (Diet Dr. Pepper sometimes wins out) and I've gone to see a natural hair stylist and will begin working with her in April. She's noticed some hair loss on the top of my head, which she said ALMOST mimicked male pattern baldness, but that doesn't surprise me. My great-grandmother used to be able to SIT on her hair and when we buried her (and many other women on my mother's side of the family) she was completely bald. Like I said - it's all genetics that I'm trying to fight.

So, in conclusion...thank you for reading. I'm going back to faking it until I make it and letting the world see my smile. I just wanted to be honest with ya'll. Smile

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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by Curly Film Chick on 28th February 2011, 1:02 pm

Thanks for being honest. I've been natural my whole life and have definitely struggled with liking my hair and then disliking it. I've always been told I have "too much hair" and that it needs to be "tamed." I just started embracing my hair, as in liking it. Hope that your journey picks up! Take care
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by yldthng on 28th February 2011, 1:14 pm

I feel you.

Part of my reason for going natural was the fact that, at 79, my mom is basically bald on top. I figured it was time for me to leave the relaxers alone before it's too late since my hair has really thinned out over the last few years. Plus, I've never done wigs or weaves, and I know I wouldn't be able to do those. My undiagnosed OCD won't let me. Rolling Eyes

All you can do is take the best care of your hair that you can. As much as we might want, I don't think we can make our hair into something it's not. Not everyone can have that thick head of curls - but we can all work on making our hair as healthy as possible.

Believe that just as much as you wish your hair was "more" or "better", there are women who would who would love to have your hair.

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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by dajewel on 28th February 2011, 2:54 pm

thank you for sharing. it takes strength to be this honest on a public forum. have your tried some auravedic herbs?
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by sweetdrk1 on 28th February 2011, 3:14 pm

Thanks for sharing! Can I ask do you have a goal? How do you want it to look?
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by cagebird on 28th February 2011, 3:49 pm

BlakButterfli I can understand where u are coming from after four years I would be frustrated too. You are right to keep at it though. Water is a great place to start. Good luck
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 28th February 2011, 4:44 pm

yldthng wrote:I feel you.

Part of my reason for going natural was the fact that, at 79, my mom is basically bald on top. I figured it was time for me to leave the relaxers alone before it's too late since my hair has really thinned out over the last few years. Plus, I've never done wigs or weaves, and I know I wouldn't be able to do those. My undiagnosed OCD won't let me. Rolling Eyes

All you can do is take the best care of your hair that you can. As much as we might want, I don't think we can make our hair into something it's not. Not everyone can have that thick head of curls - but we can all work on making our hair as healthy as possible.

Believe that just as much as you wish your hair was "more" or "better", there are women who would who would love to have your hair.

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lol @ Undiagnosed OCD. Yes, my hair is thinning on top and since I just turned 31, I'm like - HUH?

I think you know where I am coming from, so thanks for your words and comments. I think I've come to the conclusion that I won't ever have a full head of thick hair - I just don't know how to love what I DO have - but I'm working on it. Smile
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 28th February 2011, 4:46 pm

sweetdrk1 wrote:Thanks for sharing! Can I ask do you have a goal? How do you want it to look?

HEEEYYY Sweet!

That's a good question. I'll never have thick hair so I think right now, my goal is health and retention of my hair. I wouldn't feel so badly about the texture if I had more of it to work with.
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 28th February 2011, 4:47 pm

dajewel wrote:thank you for sharing. it takes strength to be this honest on a public forum. have your tried some auravedic herbs?


No, I have not. How do you use them? I'm going to have to Google them to see what they are. lol
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by dajewel on 28th February 2011, 6:15 pm

BlakButterfli wrote:
dajewel wrote:thank you for sharing. it takes strength to be this honest on a public forum. have your tried some auravedic herbs?


No, I have not. How do you use them? I'm going to have to Google them to see what they are. lol

they are indian herbs that have been used for centuries by indians and others to promote healthy scalp, hair, decrease shedding/hair loss, promote thickness, etc. u can use the a variety of ways: some herbs are great to cleans hair, some are great to use a deep condition or treatment. some of the herbs are shikiaki, brahmi, neem, amla, cassia, henna, maka, etc. check out the thread in the hair challenge forums. hth
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by ajsimmons8 on 28th February 2011, 8:59 pm

There's a great thread on here about Ayurveda oils/powders that will help you get started.

http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/t4379-ayurveda-101-part1
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by funkyhairchic on 28th February 2011, 9:59 pm

Hey Blackbutterfli! Thanks for sharing your story! I'm sorry to hear that.

I agree with Dajewel. Maybe trying a ayurvedic regimen may help. A recommended this to a coworker who also has very fine hair. Last year she was dealing with thin areas and she needed something to help add a little more strength and thickness. She's been doing henna and other ayurvedic regimens and her hair is significantly thicker now. She's been natural for a long time, too. She's very pleased with the results as of late.
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by fanmnatirel on 1st March 2011, 12:30 am

Hey Blakbutterfli-
Thanks for sharing...I'm inclined to say that you should probably keep getting the sew-ins if that makes you feel better but I blame sew-ins for thinning out my hair while i was relaxed...so i'm not sure that would be a good solution....

I have never used ayurvedic herbs myself besides the one time i used Henna (a year ago) but i have heard great things about them....

I am honestly getting tired of my hair because i started shedding all of a sudden..not sure if it's stress from work or what but i've never had that problem before so I am going to get some kinky twists in about two weeks...and forget about it for a month or two...( but i think you've mentioned in past posts that twists are not an option for you)...

One last thing: how do you feel about wigs? those could help for a lil bit.....idk...

Anyhow- keep us posted sis..good luck!
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 1st March 2011, 4:34 pm

Wow ladies - thank you all so much for the support and tips. I've headed over to Butter N Bars to check out their information on the herbs.
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by CrAvInG_CuRlZ:) on 1st March 2011, 4:54 pm

You can get the herbs locally too Butterfli. Theres tons of Indian stores in Dallas! That's where I get mine. And very cheap!
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 1st March 2011, 5:05 pm

fanmnatirel wrote:Hey Blakbutterfli-
Thanks for sharing...I'm inclined to say that you should probably keep getting the sew-ins if that makes you feel better but I blame sew-ins for thinning out my hair while i was relaxed...so i'm not sure that would be a good solution....

I have never used ayurvedic herbs myself besides the one time i used Henna (a year ago) but i have heard great things about them....

I am honestly getting tired of my hair because i started shedding all of a sudden..not sure if it's stress from work or what but i've never had that problem before so I am going to get some kinky twists in about two weeks...and forget about it for a month or two...( but i think you've mentioned in past posts that twists are not an option for you)...

One last thing: how do you feel about wigs? those could help for a lil bit.....idk...

Anyhow- keep us posted sis..good luck!

Hey D - I've done a couple of henna treatments and had promised myself to do them once a month at least. I usually leave my sew-ins in about a month, so I'm going to do the henna's in-between weaves. lol - Yeah, you know how I am about kinky twists. I love them on everyone else - just don't think they will look good on me. I'll keep you posted and see you at the next meet-up hopefully. Smile
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 1st March 2011, 5:06 pm

CrAvInG_CuRlZ:) wrote:You can get the herbs locally too Butterfli. Theres tons of Indian stores in Dallas! That's where I get mine. And very cheap!

Hey Craving! I live in Valley Ranch, so there are a ton of Indian markets here. I get my henna at one near 183 and MacArthur - where do you buy yours? (plotting a plan to meet Craving Curlz at her local spot so she can HELP me!) Smile
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Re: Almost Four Years In and I'm Still Not Feeling It

Post by BlakButterfli on 2nd March 2011, 11:30 am

Well, the sew-in is coming out today. I have been longing to do a DC on my hair and I'm tired of the random pieces of hair I'm finding all over my apartment. lol

I have another appointment to get a new sew-in done this weekend, but the fact that I miss my hair is saying a lot for me. Smile
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